I made a header image for my WordPress Theme which is the “Classic” template. I uploaded it to my FTP server but now I have no fricking idea how to make it my header.
Help.
Yesterday the California Parole Board denied Susan Atkins compassionate release from prison after her family has begged for the 60 year old, former Charles Manson follower be let go on account of a terminal brain tumor.
Now, here this: I consider myself a good Christian. And I understand that forgiveness is the main principle of Christianity. But I simply must say that I could not agree more with the CA Parole Board’s judgement in this case. That woman slit the throat of a pregnant woman of 8 months and used the woman’s blood to write obscenities on the door of the house! Then, not until years after the murder did she ever even own up to the crimes of Manson and his followers, and has never apologized.
Life in prison should mean LIFE IN PRISON. To have compassion on someone regardless of their lack of compassion for their victims seems very unfair and unjust…and that is unconstitutional.
I think that forgiving murderers is the Christian thing to do. I hope that the families of the victims in this case have prayed to God for help in forgiving Susan Atkins for what she did. But that doesn’t mean that she shouldn’t serve out her entire sentence. Now that Ms. Atkins reportedly has only 6 months to live, I think that she had better stop worrying about “compassionate release” and pray night and day that the good Lord has compassion for her soul.
***THIS CAMPAIGN HAS ENDED. I HAVE DONATED A ROUNDED UP AMOUNT OF $20 TO THE MS SOCIETY. THANK YOU ALL WHO HAVE READ ABOUT MY QUEST TO QUIT SWEARING***
Hello, my name is Andy and I am f#%king addicted to swearing. Where in the world did I get such a potty mouth? I mean, I grew up in a household that rarely used swear words and frowned upon me squeaking one out in defiance on occasion. However, I am now using swear words more than any other type of word in the English language it seems. I amaze myself at the new swear words I manage to make up in traffic or when my dog throws up on the floor. Sometimes I combine two or more swear words, or I will take swear words such as the “F” word which is typically used as a verb and I will manage to make a preposition or even and adverb out of it!! During Vikings, Twins and Hawkeyes games I can just imagine God asking Himself if he ought to send another Messiah to Earth ASAP because I use enough swear words to send the whole world to you-know-where on my behalf. The worst part about my swearing at this point in my life is my career. I am currently in the process of trying to get out of this little cubicle and into an entry level management job. I have been going through a lot of internal interviews with upper management and directors and let me tell you this: There isn’t anything more embarrassing (Well, I shouldn’t say anything…there was that incident with the Adam’s apple and “You’re not actually a woman, are you?” but we won’t get into that here) than getting interviewed by someone at the top of the food chain when yesterday you accidentally dropped the “SH” word or “sunuvabitch” while chatting with them in the elevator.
I feel like my swearing has gotten to the point that I don’t sound as intelligent as I really am. And it is a good thing that Jaci is marrying me, otherwise surely my swearing would ruin my game if I was single. My guess is that excessive cursing has got to be up there with 1) Overdoing it on the Brut Cologne and 2) Stalking on the list of turn-offs for women.
Apparently I am not alone. I found a poll by the Associated Press that says that 64% of Americans use the “F” word on a regular basis. Now, to me, that is the Granddaddy of pottymouthness; so one has to believe that is 64% are using the “F” word, they are probably using just about every other naughty word in the book.Now, neither Jaci nor I are Catholic, but every year we nevertheless try to give up something for Lent. This year Jaci gave up chocolate. She is extremely strong willed (stubborn) and she can pretty much do whatever she wants. No chocolate? No problem. I on the other hand? This year for Lent I have given THE absolute most pathetic attempt to quit swearing. Seriously, I would have done better had I given up all three peeing, pooing and breathing instead.
So…before my soul reaches the point that Lucifer says “Sorry, No Refunds!” and before I sound any more stupid than I already do, I have decided to REALLY give up cussing again. However, this time I am holding myself monetarily accountable. What I ask of you the reader is to e-mail me your favorite charity and why. Pleas include a telephone number, address (if applicable) of the charity in the e-mail as well so that we keep things legit. I will choose one charity and donate 50 cents to that charity EVERY…SINGLE…TIME…I…USE…SWEAR…WORDS. This will be ongoing for the rest of 2008 and my donation will be cumulative at Christmas.
I will keep this post updated so that readers can track my progress. I will be as honest as possible.
In the mean time, if you would like to post a comment, feel free to leave you favorite non-naughty cuss word such as “Son-of-a-Biscuit” or “Dang Nabit!” Wish me luck; this is going to be the biggest culture shock that my dirty, rotten tongue has ever experienced.
3-2-08 Tonight I got mad at a guy at work and called him a Jack(donkey) and a (Richard)head.
3-3-08 Today I said the “SH” word when Jaci and I were listening to a CD and I said “Turn that ‘SH..’ up!!!.”
3-3-08 Today I said “God-(the “D” word) when my dog wasn’t listening to me
3-3-08 Today I called Microsoft Word “Bull SH” because I was having trouble with Mail Merge while Jaci and I were trying to print out mailing labels for wedding stuff.
3-4-08 Today I called my neighbors Jack(donkeys) because they had thrown beer bottles off their balcony.
3-6-08 I work in Operations Support for a major railroad and I get extremely upset with the folks in Green River, WY. They don’t seem to have a clue how to run their railyard. I got mad at a guy from there and called him a Jack(donkey).
3-7-08 Today was Jaci’s birthday. I asked her if she wanted to go out and celebrate and she said she had to work early and apologized for being a (female dog). I said, “I don’t think you are being a Bi%#h.” Since I began the Diarrhea of the Mouth campaign, I have been really good about spelling out cuss words when I need to do so. This time I just forgot.
3-9-08 I was trying to park downtown today and this ridiculously huge truck with an extended cab and extra long bed with dual rear tires and a step up that would require a ladder for my girlfriend was taking up TWO spaces. So I cursed and spit at it for about 30 seconds like that was going to magically move it. It was completely unnecessary.
3-9-08 Last night my buddy came into town and so we went out to the bar next door to my apartment. We got to drinking some beers and I dropped some F-BOMBS. I don’t really remember the circumstances. I am sure we were just talking Man Stuff and they just slipped out…
3-11-08 Today I was telling Jaci how many pull-ups I could do in the 7th grade (20 of them) and I told her it was because I was just a skinny little s*it.
3-12-08 Today I was talking to my friend Puddin’ and he is on vacation in New Orleans. He was naked on his balcony…all 325 pounds of him…I told him he was going to get Eff-ing arrested.
3-15-08 Today I was playing Nintendo Wii and Jaci has bought me this new game called “Mario and Sonic Go To The Summer Olymics.” Well the hammer throw is extremely hard so I said “Mother Eff-er” at least once.
3-15-08 Today at work I put the phone on mute and used J.C.’s name in vain (sorry, Jesus). I was so mad at this lady because she was talking really fast and kept cutting me off. I felt like I was talking to that guy that used to do the MicroMachines commercials.
3-15-08 Tonight after work I was emptying my pockets and I had atleast 7 recipts in there, two empty sandwich bags that I use to pick up my dog’s poop, keys, cell phone, chapstick, CD player face, wallet and a fork (I seriously had a fork in my pocket). I talked outloud to myself and I said something along the lines of “I need to stop putting all this “Sh…” in my pockets. After going two days with no swear words, I really tanked today. Oh well…better luck tomorrow. I will do my best to keep it clean in church!!!
3-17-08 Ugh…St. Patrick’s Day. At the bar there was a performer singing a cover of Jimmy Buffet’s “Margarittaville.” There is a part of the chorus where the audience chants “Where’s the G**Dam* Salt?!?!?!?!” I partook in this chanting. Sorry, God.
3-18-08 Jaci and I had to pull a 16-foot trailer today to pick up furniture and needless to say I am not good at pulling a trailer or maneuvering it around. Plus, Omaha traffic is so accomadating when someone desperately needs to get into the exit lane with a big ol’ trailer. NOT! I had some cusswords to say about some things today.
3-20-08 We were at Dave and Busters and I just spent over a dollar to play this sweet virtual Nascar game. All is good and well when I suddenly over shot a turn and smashed into a wall. No big deal right? Well, thanks to horrible design, there is no REVERSE on the game! So after only 30 seconds of play I was stuck up against the wall for the rest of the time. I mean seriously, I couldn’t go anywhere. So I did what every mature person would do with about 6 kids within hearing distance: I cussed up a storm, slammed my fists on the steering wheel and threw a temper tantrum!
3-30-08 I had my first cussing fit of the entire move into the house. It was when we were bringing in the last item of the move. The Piano. We got black scuff marks all over the beautiful new carpet. My blood pressure shot up like one of those sledge-hammer-tower-hitting-bell-at-the-top carnival games.
4-2-08 I was building a squirrel feeder to hang on the tree and I kept splitting the wood because my power drill has to much torque. So what do I do? Curse up a storm at it like that was going to help.
4-5-08 I got a brand new garden hose and I was trying to straighten it out today because it has so many kinks in it from being wound up so tightly. I said the F-word so loud that I caught my new neighbor peeking through her drapes to see what all the comotion was about.
Current Donation: $12.50
Maybe you think that Jesus was a raving lunatic. Maybe you think He was the biggest liar to ever walk the face of the Earth. Maybe you feel like the Gospels of Jesus are all over-exaggerated and Jesus really did not perform all the miracles that they say He did. Maybe you believe that Jesus is Messiah and Lord and King of Kings and Savior of all mankind. Whatever the extreme of your beliefs is, you absolutely have to admire the guy, or at least respect Him. Never has there been a greater teacher of compassion and humility than Jesus. If you don’t believe in God, or you are an agnostic, that’s fine, but everyone can learn a thing or two from Jesus about how to treat others around us.
If you read about Jesus, you learn that He was far from perfect. He threw temper tantrums, He became frustrated at times, He had a hard time sticking up for himself at times, He knew He couldn’t change some people no matter how hard he tried, He contradicted himself, etc. etc. etc. But in the end, He accomplished what He came on this Earth to do. He followed what He felt His calling was and He came through victorious at the end despite incredible diversity. He never gave up and gave everything He had (including His own life) to his most passionate cause: Getting us to love ourselves for who we are and getting us to love and accept each other for exactly who we are.
That is why J.C. is my hero. Yes, I believe that He is the son of God; an amazing and incredible God. But why do I truly admire him? Because He fulfilled his destiny, that’s why.
I remember walking into a musty room at my Fraternity when I was a freshman. I had just pledged and I did not know many of the active members that well. The first thing I noticed was the 90000 point combo that a guy named
Bob Dylan made a living playing folk music when playing folk music simply was not cool. He wrote songs that he felt passionate about, not songs that would get bras and panties thrown at him. Bob Dylan can’t sing worth a crap, his guitar playing is mediocre at best, his harmonica playing sounds like an injured cat and he doesn’t exactly believe in the concept of a mere 3 minute song. But when it all comes together, he creates masterpieces. His music finds a way of burrowing into your heart in the bluntest of manners. Bob Dylan to me is like a mutt dog. Mutts look like no other dog and they are usually so incredibly ugly that they are actually beautiful little things and just take your breath away.
Bob Dylan is sort of like J.C. in a way. He does his thing no matter what people think of him, because he has a passion to tell stories through song. He is humble (having only a small handful of public interviews EVER recorded) and dedicated (still on tour in his late sixties). If there is one thing that I have learned from Bob Dylan, it’s that success seems to depend more on NOT caring what people think of you; not always conforming to standards and expectations.
But here is the kicker; and this goes along with a common theme that is developing in the heroes section of my blog:
The claim that I normally make about myself is that I am about the most average of the average. I don’t consider myself to have any outstanding talents. Part of that comes from my inability to devote myself to a project for a long enough period of time, and part of it comes from the fact that I am just not blessed with anything extraordinary. If there was one thing that I really have always kind of had a knack for, it’s writing. Call me a dork, but I always looked forward to writing term papers and essays in college. There is something fulfilling in putting my racing thoughts on paper; getting them off my chest and out of my system, and creating a piece of work as a result. I have never been interested in creative writing; i.e. short stories, novels, play etc. Non-fiction writing gives me the chance to relax by getting the racing thoughts out of my head in an organized manner that I feel good about. I haven’t been able to do that very much in the past 4 years since college. Then I discovered blogging, particularly
How many of you can say that before the age of thirty you have truly found your calling? Trent Hamm has found his and it has allowed his soul and his pocketbook to prosper.
I first met Joe my freshman year of college. He has a smile that would make the whale that swallowed Jonah, envious. Joe is the most introverted extrovert I have ever met. By this I mean he has the most mysterious yet captivating personality of anyone I know and this is what draws people to him. Everyone always wants to see what Joe Holt is going to do next. He is unpredictable, spontaneous, free-spirited, a social genius, and enigma wrapped in a Twinkie. Joe defies the status quo and acts on whims; he goes out on limbs; he jumps the gun; he organizes his life on yellow business tablets and sticky notes; every e-mail he sends you is the kind you never delete; he’s just plain the type of person you brag about being friends with.
And to add to the reoccurring theme of my heroes page, Joe Holt follows his intuition and does what makes him happy; or at least he does what he feels compelled by an unknown force to do. Since graduating college, Joe has worked for a small town South Dakota newspaper, taught kids at a church camp, moved to Taiwan to teach kids how to read, moved to Wales to work at a jewelry store and learn Spanish on a CD-ROM in his spare time, written a screen play, moved to Arizona to live with this sister and brother-in-law, moved to North Dakota to complete a Master’s Degree in literature, moved to Norway to teach language composition at a University and has become an apple (yes, the fruit, not the computer company) connoisseur and critic. Some may say that it appears that Joe is struggling to find himself. I say Joe has always known who he was; he developed confidence in himself and his abilities long ago and he has learned to grab life by the horns and ride the ride.
How many of us go through life believing there is a system we have to follow? Get good grades in high school – do good in college – get job after college – find girlfriend – marry girlfriend – have kids – get promotion – worry about money – always try to have nice things – forget about life dreams and aspirations – never continue education – worry about retirement – take things to seriously – stress out – don’t live in the moment – be miserable because we feel unfulfilled – never try new things – never take risks – wish we could win the lottery – retire – die.
Surprisingly this is how I often find myself envisioning my life and I am sure it is the same for others. This is why Joe Holt is my hero; I idolize him for living life the way he does; for dusting himself off; for not worrying about investment portfolios and simply trying to build his life portfolio. That is what it is all about. He is one of my favorite people, ever.
Feel free to comment below. You may need to click on the article’s title (headline) in order to open up the comments section. You may also e-mail me any thoughts you might have to ahubbard13@bloginyourface.com and if I like what you have to say I will post it alongside this blog. If I don’t like what you have to say I may also post it alongside this blog along with my personal comments on where you should shove it!
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