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A decade. That’s a lot of time to get something done. Wouldn’t you agree?

Today I had some down time at work and a colleague of mine walked by my office (and by “office” I mean my 4 1/2′ by 6′ cubicle) and made a comment about the article I was reading on the Internet. The headline read:

“Gore wants US to produce all power through Earth-friendly energy sources within 10 years”

After catching a glimpse of the text in bold, my beloved colleague said something along the lines of:  “…I could fart under the covers and it would still smell in 10 years. A decade is hardly any time at all when you want to shut down all the coal plants and run the country on windmills…”  Does he have a point? Maybe a little one. America does indeed have trillions invested in our coal energy grid. But as far as a decade being a short amount of time to make dramatic changes? A quick Google search shows just what America can do when they put their minds to a task. Check these out:

1) Hoover Dam - 4 years
2) First man on the moon - 8 years after JFK promised it to Congress
3) Panama Canal - 9 and 1/2 years after Woodrow Wilson broke ground.
4) American Revolution - 8 years
5) Transcontinental Railroad - 6 years
6) First practical fixed wing aircraft - took only two years after Kitty Hawk to make it happen.
7) Golden Gate Bridge - 4 and 1/2 years
8 ) World Trade Center Towers - 6 years
9) Empire State Building - 1 and 1/2 years
10) Win World War II - 6 years

Nobody can honestly say that America isn’t capable of getting together and doing something about our addiction to fossil fuels after looking at the events above. But, you know what the problem is?

Bipartisan Politics

The state of Texas just approved a plan to pump 4.9 BILLION more dollars into its already booming windmill operation. Remember, Texas is the center of the American oil industry. Where are they getting the money to do this? Consumers. The energy consumers of Texas will pay an additional 3 to 4 dollars on their electricity bill a month for the next 5 or 6 years. That’s it. The upgrade will in-turn be able to power 4 million more Texas homes. If the oil capital of the United States can pull something this extraordinary off, there is no reason - NONE! - that the rest of America cannot follow suit. Can you imagine the money we will save in the long run by spending a total of about 300 dollars per household over the course of 6 years?

Maybe Al Gore is a little bit overly-ambitious, but not much.

In the mean time, the technology is out there to capture carbon emissions from coal powerplants and bury them in the ground instead of pumping them into the atmosphere. Many utility companies evidently think this technology is not cost effective and will cut into their profits *sniffle, sniffle* 

It is amazing how Capitalism and Bipartisan politics can combine forces to make sure that absolutely nothing ever gets accomplished for the good in this country.

I would like to announce to the world - or the 4 people that occasionally read my blog - that as of today, July 10th, 2008, I am officially credit card debt-free. I made the last payment of 308 dollars today and abruptly cancelled my one and only Visa card. When I say abruptly I mean I called Capital One, gave my information to a lady, answered a bunch of security questions, told her what I wanted, got transferred, sat on hold, got some other lady, answered the same questions, got told I would be transferred to an account specialist to complete my cancellation, sat on hold for 10 minutes while my cell phone got really hot against my ear, went through hell with the account specialist and was treated like it was a deadly sin to cancel a credit card after I hadn’t even used it in over 4 years and finally was told that the official cancelling of my credit card would take place sometime in the next 30 to 60 days but that if I used my credit card between now and then (after telling her repeatedly that it is in 4 pieces in a landfill somewhere) it would automatically activate my account again and something about accidental death and dismemberment.

PHEW!

Guinness Book of World Records? Longest run-on sentence ever???

But anyway, enough about my experience just trying to cancel the dang thing, my point of this celebratory blog is that I finally have the sucker out of my life. I am soooo  moved on. Seriously, I began racking up debt on that thing my senior year of college - 2003 and 2004 - and eventually got to the point where I was literally almost maxed out. My balance at one time was $1999.16 with a credit limit of $2000 dollars. I graduated in June of 2004 and began making payments on it…minimum payments.

My taking so long to pay it off was a result of two things. Number one, I was just plain irresponsible. I didn’t care how long it would take me with the minimum payment to pay it off. Number two, I never looked at my statement. I would simply go online whenever I remembered and make the minimum payment with the click of a mouse.

What I did not know is that with the minimum payment and my APR, it would have taken me 97 months (8 years, 1 month) to get to a zero balance. I also would have ended up paying $1208 dollars in interest. But it was worse than that…

Because I never looked at my statements, I forgot that I had signed up for some sort of payment protection program that was charging my card 13 bucks or so a month and also I forgot that I was donating 15 bucks a month to Green Peace out of that credit card. That meant that with my minimum payment, minus finance charges and the two charges above, I was only paying about 10 dollars a month in principle. That means that it would have taken me 200 months (over 16 years) to pay off my balance in full.

 So needless to say, when I met the love of my life who just happens to be the most responsible manager of money in the whole world, she motivated me to get this thing paid off. And by “motivated” I mean she raised one eyebrow and gave me a stern look last September and pretty much demanded that I pay the thing off before we got married.

So I did. And I took George’s stimulus check and put it toward my credit card debt, too. Which brings me to another point: My buddy said something along the lines of “…that check was suppose to stimulate the economy…you were suppose to go out and spend it on a ridiculous feat of electronic engineering, not paying down debt…” My response to that is this: By paying off credit card debt, we make it so the banks can loan that much money to some other schmuck who is going to go off spending way over his head and make the banks a heck of a lot of money on interest, and God knows they need that money with the housing crisis and all. The same goes with student loans. If I would have used my entire stimulus check on paying my student loans, that would have freed up 600 dollars for my lender to borrow to somebody else like an incoming freshman who otherwise wouldn’t be able to afford college tuition. Now, in four years he is going to graduate college and buy a shiny new car with his college graduate career income. It’s all a cycle to me. No matter how you spend your stimulus check weather it be on a flat screen TV or investing it into a mutual fund, it is now or eventually going to stimulate the economy in one form or another.

But anyway, thanks to Uncle George’s stimulus check and me knuckling down to the grindstone, I have kissed credit card debt’s ass goodbye and it feels good. Debt is slavery. Plain and simple. Now I move on to the next debt mountain…my stupid truck loan…WHO THE HELL PUTS NO DOWN PAYMENT ON A 6 YEAR TRUCK LOAN RIGHT OUT OF COLLEGE LIKE A FRICKING IDIOT?!?!?!?

Oh yeah…me…woops.

Jaci and I have reached the 3 month mark of owning a house. I have learned a lot of things over the last quarter of a year, but I would say that the most valuable of all lessons is this: Fixing stuff is hard.

Seriously, I am about as much of a handy man as Richard Simmons is masculine. I have just been overwhelmed  at the amount of time and energy that goes into home ownership. I wonder if it is always like this or if someday we will hit a plateau where virtually everything in the house is working well and I am happy with the cosmetic appearance in every nook and cranny of my abode.

Here are just some of the things that I have been working on/screwing up/breaking/getting pissed off at/actually learning from:

Pink Toilet Ring
There is a toilet in the laundry room that the previous owners never touched so the same water has been sitting in there for probably 8 years. I tried toilet cleaner, Scrubbin’ Bubbles,  bleach, dish soap and counter top cleaner. Finally I literally used a flat head screwdriver and scraped away the calcium deposits or whatever the hell that pink ring was.

Mudjacking
The dipsticks…I mean FAMILY…before us had the downspout aimed right at the garage door. So, years worth of rain made the right side concrete slab sink nearly 4 inches. Jaci and I had to hire a contractor to “Mudjack” it, or pump a bunch of concrete type stuff underneath it to raise it back up, because it felt like I was going over a speed bump every time I entered my side of the garage. The day my dog almost fell out of the passenger side of my truck when we hit that bump was the day I decided to take action.

Gutters
One day I saw that the water from the heavy rain was just spilling over onto the ground from the gutters. I climb up there that weekend and the gutter was so full of dead, decomposing material that it smelled like a rotting hot dog and literally the gutters had little trees growing in them. I spent the majority of that afternoon cleaning poopy-smelling mud and dead leaves out of them.

Dryer
We bought a dryer off Craigslist (I know, real reputable for quality, right?) and it would annoyingly turn off mid-cycle. Over the course of two weekends I tore that dryer apart and checked the wiring, the thermostat, heating element, the lint filter, every single hose and belt and NOTHING! Do you realize how many little screws and bolts make up a dryer?!?!?!?!? Finally I realized that the door simply wasn’t shutting tight enough…that was it; the only thing wrong with it…ugh…

Floor Stains
That same dryer left a whole bunch of weird black marks on the utility room floor so I tried Ammonia to clean them up. Nope. Then I tried bleach. Nope. Mr. Clean?  Nope. Comet? Nope. Then I tried our “Soft and Gentle” hand soap. The damn black marks came up like THAT! That’s kind of like War of the Worlds when they attack the Tripods with all the heavy artillery and in the end it takes something simple to kill them.

Blinds
Jaci whipped the vertical blinds open one day and one of them broke off. I ended up fixing it with a yellow twist tie which isn’t exactly an accent color to the putrid white blinds, but oh well.

Unclog Drain
Our drain was literally taking an overnight to drain in the master bathroom sink. So I got the baddest of the bad drain unclogger and although it called for dumping 1/5th of the bottle down the drain at a time, I dumped the entire gallon. I got results! Now it only take 4 fricking hours to drain!!! I am going to try the Girl Robot technique next.

Mowing
Nebraska (or at least Omaha) has gotten rain every day except for 5 in the last 90 days if my calculations are correct. That being the case, my grass is growing faster than an 18 year old guy chugging a RedBull/Viagra Martini. I have to mow twice a week and it still makes my poor lawn mower cough and hack like a 19th-stage emphysema patient trying to expel a tar ball.

Weeding
“Wouldn’t it be cute to plant some Marigolds and some Petunias, honey?” I thought the same thing when both my Mother and girlfriend suggested it. Then I thought if I laid down a whole bunch of wood mulch it would be like a force field against any weeds trying to grow all up in my flowers’ business. WRONG. I am constantly  pulling weeds. My neighbors probably think I have a back problem for as much as I am bent over in awkward positions around the yard grunting and groaning all the time.

Lawnmower
We came across a free lawnmower. When I asked the lady why it was free, she told me that she had bought a new one. Fair Enough. One problem: the starter cord was ripped in half. Why? Because the carburetor was clogged and some Schmuck somewhere along the line tried his damnedest to start the thing even though the carb was as plugged up as I am after a large plate of nachos, thus ripping the cord in half. So I had to replace those two parts before I could even mow my grass, which desperately needed it.

Tarp Hammock
There was moisture in the attic and it was coming from one of the exhaust fans. When it would rain or snow at a certain angle, water would get in and soak the insulation between the rafters. The first step in resolving this problem was to actually  get in the attic.  Now…where, of all places, do you think the only access to the attic is? How about a little tiny door in the ceiling above the pantry, that’s where. So I had to take almost everything out of the pantry and climb up the rickety old shelves. I finally made it into the musty attic. My first mistake was to dig my hand in the insulation so that I could have leverage to lift myself up. Burying your hand in insulation is like burying your hand in birthday cake. Birthday cake with little shards of glass in it. I am still apologizing to God for some of the things that came out of my mouth that day. Anyway, I ended up having to hang a tarp up like a hammock underneath that exhaust fan in order to catch the water coming in and let it evaporate. Boy am I glad I am going to heaven because I am pretty sure Hell probably feels like one giant attic.

Look out below!
Then I thought I had better clean the inside window sills. The things had dirt and dust caked on then half an inch thick! I swear they had NEVER  been cleaned. Some kid had wrote their name in the dust a long time ago and it was still there. I think it said “George Burns Was Here” or something like that. Anyway, so I open the window and not 10 seconds after I began cleaning the sill I hit the screen and it pops completely out and goes falling two stories to the ground below. I had to lug it back up and then spent over an hour figuring out how to put the damn thing back in again.

Lawn Fertilizer
You would think that if we can land a man on the moon, we could at least make lawn fertilizer that only takes one application per year. But, NOOooOOOOooOOooOO! I came to figure out that most fertilizing programs (including the one I foolishly decided on) require 4 applications throughout the year! And the stuff is expensive! To make matters worse, the first application that I put down I broke the wheel on the cheap ass push spreader that came with the system. Now when I fertilize the grass, not only do I bend over and grab my ankles trying to buy the stuff (metephorically speaking that is), I then have to push around a whack spreader on one wheel! Next year I think I might go all natural when it comes to lawn fertilizer and by “all natural” I mean my dog’s poop.

U.F.O landing pad
There is this spot in the front yard that I really do think is the International..wait…interGALACTICAL  hub for all extraterrestrial aircraft. It is a circular bare spot of grass that I cannot get anything to grow on! I have tried grass seed. Nope. Then I tried the stuff made out of old newspaper that is dyed aqua-blue. Nope. Finally I tried transplanting grass from the back yard. Nope. Nothing will grow there! I don’t even think my Grandpa’s ear hair would grow in that spot and trust me, I think that stuff could grow almost ANYWHERE.

Must…Have…Tee…Vee
When Jaci and I moved in there was one, count them, ONE  cable outlet. There was cable virtually throughout the house in the form of wires ran through holes in the wall and through ceiling tiles…but only one actual outlet. So, I had to install a whole bunch of cable outlets so that [Jaci and] I could watch Sportscenter anywhere [we] I wanted without it feeling like [we] I [were] was stealing cable from somewhere else with a 500 foot cable cord spliced 18 times.

And then, of course, I go and break something
I was hooking up the T.V. in the basement, or “The ManCave” as I like to call it, and I couldn’t get the old cable cord off of the back of my T.V. So, I did what any man in my situation would do: I tried forcing it. Ugh, I ended up snapping the “male” end off of the back of my T.V. rendering it useless. So, I had to figure out how to hook up a VCR that we have (that is literally from the late 1980s) to my modern day T.V. through the RCA inputs (ya know, the Red, Yellow and White cords). Luckily Jaci knows her electronics because I really think quadruple bypass would have been easier…

Tree Limbs on Roof
The big old Hackberry tree in my back yard is spreading like Herpes onto the roof. The branches are putting scratches into the shingles and even growing into the chimney! I gotta climb up there and cut them away ASAP.

A/C
And that brings us to yesterday. I came home from work and Jaci, God bless her heart…she knows me and my tendency to FREAK OUT very well, told me to sit down on the stairs before she told me what she had to tell me. I did. Then I was informed that while I was at work, the air conditioner stopped working. I went storming outside to see if it was a fuse. Jaci came screaming after me telling me not to touch the thing because Miranda (a veterinarian intern at the Omaha Zoo who is staying with us for 6 weeks) tried to pull the fuse out earlier and was given one hell of an electric shock in protest by the air conditioner. Needless to say we went to bed in an 83 degree house and I don’t have a clue how to fix the dang thing and a technician is coming tomorrow morning who will probably charge me 50 dollars just for introducing himself and asking if he can use my restroom. Just what we needed in time for the wedding, since weddings are so cheap these days and all.

Ya know? There are a lot of hassles and headaches that come with owning a house. Its not easy, but one thing that I failed to mention is that there are trade-offs. And I’ve got to admit, those trade-offs trump all of the stuff above. I get to share something with the love of my life; my best friend. I get something to call my own and be proud of. I have something that is worth going to work everyday to keep it. Having a house makes me want a family. Also, we have had over 20 different guests come to see us and stay the night. People that may not have come to Nebraska had they not had a place to stay with Jaci and I. Having a house means having great neighbors to lean over the fence and bullshit with and having random garage parties. It is a primal feeling: I am the Alpha Male, protecting my cave; maintaining it. It is where I keep my mate. It is where I start a fire (microwave) and cook the meat from the hunt (meat counter at Bag and Save). I am man! ME FIX STUFF!!!

Recently I got an e-mail that read:

Read this and saw your comment on GirlRobot’s blog:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ucac/20080611/cm_ucac/bushsamerica100percentalqaidafreesince2001

Pick it apart piece by piece in your next blog.  I’d be interested to hear your thoughts. 

A bit of background info:

One of my favorite blogs out there is GirlRobot and I was reading her Friday Linksthe other day when I came across yet another ridiculous Ann Coulter editorial…the one listed above in the e-mail. I must admit, I read through the article rather hastily, because well, I f%&king hate Ann Coulter. Ever since she wrote the book that contained a completely psychopathic bashing of the widows of the 9/11 attacks, I haven’t been able to take anything she says seriously. Watch this clip:

If it would not have been Ann Coulter writing that article, I would have said something along the lines of “I can’t say I agree with her, but I will admit that she makes some pretty good points.” Instead, I said something along the lines of “This chick hasn’t been admitted to the psych-ward yet? Or burned at the stake?” I am human, and when someone I don’t like writes or says something, I am probably not going to take it very seriously or I might completely discredit them before even reading what they have to say like some people I know tend to do.

So here is what I will do. I will attempt to “pick apart” the article all the while pretending that Crazy-Cold-Heartless-Manlike-Bitch (Ann Coulter) did not, in fact author it. I will attempt to address it as if my mother wrote it and I am simply sitting across the table discussing it with her.

My first thought: There is a huge difference between correlation and connection. So there has not been another terrorist attack on America since 2001. OK. Is that really a direct result of Bush’s foreign policy and this war we are fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan? No. Maybe a little tiny bit, but no. You’ve got to hand it to the F.B.I. and C.I.A. They are the ones keeping our soil secure. For it to be said that we are “pinning down” this massive and worldwide terrorist organization with thousands and thousands of members could not possibly be an accurate statement. That is pretty strongly evidenced by the attacks in London, Madrid, Bali, etc. so it is not as if Al-Quida could not spare a handful of their members to attack America again. That kind of statement does not take into account lots of other factors, one of those factors being how incredibley long it takes to plan an attack of 9/11’s caliber: Between 1993’s attack and 2001’s attack there was an 8 and a half year time span! America’s borders are quite secure and not easy to penetrate and orchestrate that kind of attack. Is this because of one man, George Bush, and his war in Iraq? No…at least I don’t think so, anyway.

Which brings me to my next beef with this particular article. The Al-Quida that attacked us on September 11th is not the Al-Quida that we are fighting in Iraq. The Al-Quida that attacked us were:

- 15 Saudi Arabians
- 1 Egyptian
- 1 guy from Lebanon
- 2 guys from United Arab Emirates

So, once again, to say that we are “pinning down” the terrorists in Iraq…the ones that did not attack us in the first place…to me, is not the most profound of statements. I must speculate that the fact that we have not had another attack since 2001 is most likely not  because we are making our presence in Iraq of all places. Besides, if we go on thinking that just because we are fighting the War on Terror in the Middle East, then there are not Al-Quida cells left in the U.S., waiting…plotting…well then, I don’t think we learned very much from 9/11.

Next Point:

Look…I am just as American as the next guy…I am extremely proud of the men and women in Iraq and their progress in Sadr City and Basra…but let me just say this: As long as there are Curds, Shiites and Sunnis in Iraq who have been at each other’s throats for thousands of years, there is only so far that we can go to bring peace their way. WE…CANNOT…WIN…A…HOLY…WAR. We have brought down the tyranny that was Saddam Hussein. Praise George Bush and God Bless America for that. We have brought back democracy to a country in desperate need of it. Praise George Bush and God Bless America for that. We made absolutely sure that Iraq is not holding weapons of mass destruction. Praise George Bush and God Bless America for that. However, our presence in Iraq is now the primary cause of the ten-fold increase in suicide bombings post-invasion. It is time to hand over the military and security duties to the police and military of Iraq. It is time to step out and only offer assistance in the form of organizing diplomacy meetings between the three factions. It is time to step back and simply offer assistance and guidance to the new government and its leaders. It is time to stop spending 720 million dollars a day on a war that has stretched beyond what we came there to do.

Which brings me to my next point. The article justifies the fighting and violence in Iraq by comparing the death ratio between our troops and the city of Chicago. The article also suggests that us being in Iraq is keeping our country safe. To me, that is a contradiction. If terrorists have not attacked our country in nearly 7 years, yet 12,000 people in Chicago have died a violent death since then, wouldn’t our resources be better spent cleaning up our own country’s woes? I have said it before and I will say it again: Terrorism has, is and always will be a relatively small risk to American livelihood. There are so, SO, SO many other things that ail America’s well being. We have done our duty to the world in Iraq (too bad we were tricked into thinking it was all about Terrorism…but that’s a whole ‘nother blog) and it is time to begin withdrawal process and come on home.

Do I think Bush has been a horrible or even a BAD  president? No. Not really. Do I think he will go down as “one of America’s greatest presidents” as the article suggests? HARDLY! Not if he knew about the 9/11 attacks in advance and did not do more. Not if you remember things like the home foreclosure crisis, his lack of investment in renewable energy (yay gas prices!), his deregulation of corporations and big businesses, his tax cuts for the wealthy, horrible Hurricane Katrina response, invasion of privacy and disregard for the 1st amendment, no-bid Haliburton nonsense, ridiculous war propaganda and Valerie Wilson (er, Plame..er, whatever). Then you’ve got the spending spree…all the money that we have borrowed for the war, the economic stimulus package, the insane building of the 3 billion dollar border fence…all money borrowed from countries like China. And, no…it’s not like the 4th of July car sales where we get interest free financing. No, America can barely keep its head up just making the interest payments on 9 trillion dollars every year let alone start ACTUALLY paying that money back. When we owe people money, we lose power to them. Thanks in part to President Bush (who turned a Clinton surplus into a burnt hole in America’s pocket) we will see China as the only world super power within 25 to 30 years (just my prediction).

Am I saying that Al Gore or John Kerry could have done better? No. Probably Not.
A quick summary:

The article was not all wrong; it made some very good points that I just have to agree with. I was quick to judge it because a complete Bitch that I despise wrote it. I apologize for that.

I don’t think that Bush and his administration are complete f%#k ups. Not even close. I am simply one of the current 83% of Americans that is not happy. I have a right not to be happy. I have a right to feel like we can do better. That doesn’t make me any less full-blooded American. It is my constitutional right and I am so blessed to be able to express it. Ann Coulter shares that same right to call 9/11 widows “wenches” and “dumb broads” and “harpies.”

God Bless America. And God have mercy on her soul…

You all have probably seen the commercial. The (mostly) naked chick swimming around in the underwater dreaminess of what we are to assume is the ocean. These beautiful blue beads and ribbons come up from all around her and exfoliate her naked body, make her skin look so smooth and healthy. We get caught up in the moment about how good those exfoliating pearls must feel on our skin in a hot shower. We imagine what it must be like to squirt that Olay Body Wash into our loofahs and wash ourselves down with those little “micro beads” and seaweed extract, cleaning our every pour…AH! So refreshing!

But, wait a second. Just what exactly are  those microbeads? Well, the other day I stumbled across an article and it explained just that. They are simply small chunks of everybody’s favorite Eco-friendly element: PLASTIC!!!!!

I’ve got to admit, the commercial and advertising leads us to believe that this product is marine friendly. It is almost as if Olay Body Wash Plus Spa Exfoliating Ribbons goes along harmoniously with coral reefs and crystal clear water. But, I will tell you one thing…if there were ever two things that do NOT go together like peas and carrots, it’s aquatic life and plastic.

If you don’t already know, plastic never biodegrades. In other words, EVERY…SINGLE…piece of plastic that has ever been made is with us here today. Sure, the sunlight tends to aid in the “breaking down” of plastic, especially plastic bags; but here it only breaks them down into microscopic pieces of plastic. If your Wal-Mart bag is in the landfill, after a couple of years it breaks down small enough to enter the water supply which leads to a creek somewhere, which leads to a small river somewhere, which leads to a lake or an ocean eventually.

With these microbeads in the body wash, it simply speeds up that process by going directly down your drain. These beads don’t need to break down! They are already small enough to make it through the sewage treatment plant with a breeze. Once plastic inevitably makes it to aquatic habitats, if it is a large piece it will choke, tangle, drown or accidentally get swallowed by a marine creature. If it makes it to the lakes and oceans in it’s microscopic form, it does the same damage, only slower. Microscopic plastic chunks get backed up in the digestive tracks and gills over time and spread to other tissues. This creates highly toxic levels in the marine life and eventually is enough to kill or asphyxiate some. From whatever death method, plastic is responsible for millions of sea creatures’ lives every year.

If you use plastic bags, please save them and bring them to your local grocery store or Wal-Mart and recycle them in receptacles like those pictured on the right. Even better, use paper and recycle it. EVEN FRICKING BETTER use canvas bags for all of your shopping needs. Jaci and I have decided that we will be giving canvas bags out at our wedding as favors for our guests.

If you can, recycle plastic containers and jugs. Heck, a lot of places are even recycling Styrofoam these days, believe it or not. If you use exfoliating beads in products like Olay Body Wash Plus Spa Exfoliating Ribbons or Clean and Clear Pore Cleanser or Dove Exfoliating Facial Cleanser, try using Burts Bees Deep Pore Scrub or Ives Apricot Scrub which contain peach stones and apricot kernels, respectively.

I heard somewhere that by 2048, most commercial fishing areas in the ENTIRE WORLD will be near or completely depleted of fish. That means almost all of our seafood beyond that time will come from seafood farms. You’ve just gotta love the taste of fresh fish born and raised in stainless steel tanks!

Come on, guys. Let the world powers do their part to stop illegal over-fishing. Do your part to stop polluting our waters with dangerous and deadly plastic. Plastic is a wonderful part of our economy, just like oil, rubber, steel, asphalt, concrete, iron, coal etc. But each come with their specific costs to the environment. I hope we can learn to use them all responsibly and respectfully. The next time you are doing things like scrubbing your nether regions with exfoliator or bagging your groceries, just stop to think about your impact.

I would like to open up BLOGINYOURFACE.com to anyone who would like to submit a guest post to me about their personal belief on any political issue(s). I know I don’t have that many readers but if you would like to get any type of political rant off of your chest about any topic at all, I will post it to the site UNEDITED for all to see and comment on along with you blog URL for promotion purposes. Just e-mail it to me at ahubbard13@bloginyourface.com Here is one of my (few and far between) political rants: 

 I wrote a little piece on Global Warming below in the wake of one man’s quest to raise awareness by climbing the New York Times building. I basically just wanted to say how awesome I thought it was that someone has that kind of devotion to a cause, ANY CAUSE. I admire people that are that passionate about their beliefs. Well, I must say that as much as I tried to keep politics out of it and human perseverance as the main theme, I ended up kind of doing the opposite; that is,  judging by the couple of comments  that I received.

Here is my reaction to the most recent comment by my big Sis:

Let me start off with one figure which I will base my views on…$720,000,000. That is how much we spend on the war in Iraq right now EVERY…SINGLE…DAY. “The War On Terror…” Lets just say that we had that kind of money to spend elsewhere…

For instance, with that kind of money America could:

1) Pay 12,478 teachers a salary of 55,000 dollars a year.
2) Provide 163,000 people with a year’s worth of health insurance.
3) Put a roof over 6,482 familes’ head.
4) Build 18,000 windmills…cutting down on energy costs and emissions exponentially.
5) Build up to 8 community centers a day in areas where gang activity is getting out of control.
6) How far would 700-some-million dollars a day go in fighting the war on drugs?
7) How far would 700-some-million dollars a day go in researching cancer treatment, STD prevention, teen pregnancy prevention, property tax relief and recycling incentive programs (i.e.  paying  Americans to recycle)?
How far would 700-some-million dollars a day go in preparing for “The Big One” (San Andreas Earthquake) which is predicted to affect 20 million people (or more) on the west coast and leave them without food, shelter, electricity, water, communication and adequate law enforcement?
9) How far would 700-some-million dollars go in doing something about the 10,000 hand gun deaths in America each year (compared to just 12 in the UK)?
10) Pay for research and prevention of the 45,000 Americans that are killed in car accidents annually.
11) I could go on and on about problems on our own soil…

And on an international level? If we really want to be the world super hero, can you imagine what 700-some-million dollars would do for:

1) The 8500 people that die from AIDS every day.
2) The 5000 children that die from dirty water every day.
3) The nearly 4 million people worldwide that have died from starvation so far THIS YEAR!
4) The 30,000 some kids worldwide that are born with a cleft pallet every year. We could do nearly 2 million surgeries on cleft pallets a day with this kind of money.
5) The 50 to 100 million active land mines that are in 80 countries around the world today?
6) I could go on and on here, too…

You say:

“I see the terrorists in the Middle East as a much more dangerous threat than global warming”

The way I see it, terrorists in the United States and in the world are some of the least of what we should be worrying about. In fact, I will go as far as to say that we are brainwashed into thinking they are way more of an immediate and dangerous threat than they really are. If the world is going to shit and human existence is nearing an end, I can guarantee that in the end it will have absolutely or barely anything to do with a) fuel costs or b) Terrorism.

There is nothing we can or will EVER be able to do about terrorism. No matter how long we are in Iraq or any other Middle Eastern country, there are always going to be extremist Muslims (and terrorists of other denominations). If we think we can win a holy war we are insane! These people are fighting to the death because they don’t value their lives on this Earth! How do you defeat an enemy like that? You don’t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fact: If someone on this Earth wants to harm someone else or a group of someone elses bad enough, they will find the means to do so. Their free will and our destiny to survive their wrath are both what God intends for. You say:

“If you truly believe that there is a God and he is watching out for you, then trust Him. He always knows what is best. Remember: fear is the opposite of faith.”

I could not agree with you more, Sis. But if that is the case, why do we fear terrorism so much? Why do we fear the inevitable and go to war over it, while ignoring so many other problems at home and around the world? PROBLEMS THAT WE CAN GET OUT THERE AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT!

If terrorists really want to inflict harm on us, they will find a way. Our faith in God is what will protect us, and if it does not protect us it will lead us to the heavenly kingdom in our unfortunate death. Most people that pray to God daily usually include something about protecting them and keeping them safe though, right? My opinion on the War on Terror is that we get the hell out of there and start using our military for better causes. I say we get the hell out of there and start using our resources to help people around the world make it through the present and future problems that are facing the human race. People that actually want our help. People that would maybe even return the favor…

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, KIM!!!!

Those that believe in Global Warming and those that could care less. This video depicts a man last Thursday who scaled the 52-story New York Times building to promote public awareness on the issue. On the 9th floor he displayed a banner that read “Global Warming kills more people than 9/11 every year.” His name is Alain Robert and I’ve got a lot of respect for him. Not just because he wants to address an issue that is important to me, but because he is someone that is so passionate about something that he would go and pull a stunt like this.

Most of us could only dream of developing such a strong passion about changing the world that we were willing to devote our lives (or in this case, risk  our life) to have our voice heard.

I see the way that the Midwest is being affected by Global Warming everyday. The last two summers we have had nearly drought-like conditions. This year we have had flash floods and tornados. The changing ocean temperatures are creating completely unpredictable weather patterns that are getting to the point of devastation. I have done a lot of thinking over the last few years…is Global Warming man made? Can humans really have an impact on our climate? I have gotten to the point where I really don’t know and I really don’t care. What I know is that whether it is a natural climate cycle or it is man made, we are not doing enough as individuals, as a country or even as a world to adapt.

Instead of fighting wars we need to be spending money on developing ways to combat the inevitable changes that are going to occur sooner than later. Instead of drilling for oil we better start scouting and drilling fresh water resevoirs. Instead economic stimulus packages, we had better start giving incentives to people that recycle. We had better start modernizing our energy infrastructure. We had better start teaching third world countries how to grow crops and prevent disease.

I am done arguing the politics of Global Warming and I am done arguing why the hell it is happening. To me, it is now a survival issue. It’s not about the price of gasoline, cable television, food, water and gallons of milk. It’s not about the housing crisis or the Dow Jones dropping. It’s about honey bees dying. It’s about devastating weather. It’s about not having enough trees. It’s about cancer and chronic disease. It’s about the 150,000 and counting deaths that can be traced directly back to the fact that the Earth is warming for WHATEVER FUCKING REASON.

Alain Robert may be a wack job for climbing a 52 story building. I am not going to argue that. Maybe Al Gore and the rest of the environmentalists in the world are wack jobs. Maybe I am a wack job. Maybe I am crazy for wanting a better world for my kids. Maybe I am crazy for thinking that the problem is not to big. Maybe I am crazy for thinking that the world can come together and work on a solution.

But the solution is so simple…visit thesolutionissimple.org

When you go throughout your life - or a good majority of it - believing something that you have always been told is true…and then someone or something goes and makes you challenge your beliefs or seriously makes you consider changing your mind altogether, it kind of sucks. When you develop strong opinions about something that you feel is right, wrong, weird, acceptable, cool, awesome, shitty, stupid, annoying, awkward or just “a given,” and then you come across someone/something that thinks, says or DOES the complete polar opposite, it kind of makes you feel really weird and frustrated. These are not just BuzzKills. These are things that are on a much larger scale - things that could potentially change not only our way of thinking but the entire way we live our lives.

Here are some past examples from my life:

1. Finding out Elton John is gay.
2. Finding out that Santa Claus is not real.
3. Finding out that Ozzie Smith is a dickhead.
4. Finding out that hot dogs have 60 percent of my recommended sodium intake per day and have virtually no nutritional value.
5. Finding out that Jaci sheds 4 1/2 pounds of hair in the shower every day.
6. Figuring out that I am not capable at plumbing of any sort.
7. Finding out that Barbie dolls have no nipples.
8. Assuming that Cristina Ricci could never make a shitty movie because she is just plain TO HOT!!!
9. Finding out that Kirby Puckett was mortal.
10. Finding out that Mickey Mouse is really just some fat guy named Harold in a mouse suit sweating is a** off and hugging (and scaring) little kids for little more than minimum wage.

I was reading one of my favorite personal finance blogs the other day, FRUGAL DAD, and he informed us that he was going on a 30 day binge of drinking strictly water. No other liquids. I was skimming through the comments when I came across one that led me to a website entitled “Not Milk” - www.notmilk.com - a play on words from the famous “got milk?” marketing campaign.

Now, I have grown up in the Midwest and I have always just assumed that drinking milk is a good thing. Drinking milk makes strong little boys. Drinking milk makes strong bones. Drinking milk is an important part of school lunches. Drinking milk at every…single…meal…is just something that all Americans should do in order to be healthy, right?

Not so much…

This website has completely changed my perspective on milk. In particular, THIS ARTICLE within the website. I won’t bore anyone with too many details, but the more you read about cow’s milk, the more disgusting it sounds and the more insane we seem for drinking it as much as we do. Pesticides, Hormones, Lactose, White Blood Cells (Puss), etc. The fact that milk really does NOTHING to prevent osteoporosis when it all comes down to it. The fact that billions of people in the world have never tasted cow’s milk and correlational studies point to them being much healthier because of it. Allergies, Cancer, Kidney Stones, Alzheimer’s and Crohn’s Disease. The list goes on and it scares the buh-JESUS out of me.

The people that market milk are genius. They have done a flawless job in brainwashing the American public into believing that milk is virtually a necessity. This website and article have completely stopped me in my tracks. I found myself staring at the milk with the ‘fridge door hanging wide open tonight. How could this be? Sweet, sweet milk…tell me it isn’t so!

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As if trying to soak in the bad news about one of my all time favorite beverages isn’t hard enough, I also came across some information that I found to be absolutely mind boggling. It concerns electric and gas/electric hybrid cars. I have been under the assumption for quite some time that electric cars or gas/electric cars are the wave of the future. I watched the documentary Who Killed the Electric Car and I immediately became frustrated with the oil companies for “sabotaging” the engineering of the Electric Car in the early nineties.

But then I found this out: If we were to all switch to electric cars today - right at this moment - yes, we would reduce our dependency on foreign oil immensely, but I never really thought about the effect on our nation’s present day power grid. Ever since I started getting interested in politics I have been under the assumption that any kind of energy and transportation that doesn’t have to do with oil has got to be a good thing, right?

Wrong. And that brings us to BussKill #2 of the day: This Article.

The author, Clayton Cornell, points out that a 30 mile commute in a gasoline powered car costs our water supply 18.9 gallons of water (in the refining of the gasoline). The same thirty mile commute in a plug-in-hybrid car would use up to 318 gallons of water! Unbelievable!

Why the big difference???? Power plants are the source of energy for your little hybrid.  The majority of power plants on our grid are either coal or natural gas. Someday we may be able to have power plants running on wind, solar and geo-thermal energy but that is a whole different blog for another day in the far away future. For now we have the more traditional two listed above. The turbines in those power plants are run on steam and the whole plant is cooled using water.

Now, I am absolutely HUGE on water conservation. I predict that future world wars will be fought over water. I predict that the United States will end up centered around the Great Lakes. I predict that water will be more expensive than gasoline one day. I predict that the end of human existence will come because of something directly related to the lack of water. I think it is a huge deal that not many people think or care about in today’s politics.

That is why BuzzKill #2 is so hard to digest. My heart and mind was set on the fact that Gasoline=Bad; Electricity=Good. But with the information about the ridiculous amount of water it takes to run a hybrid car, I find myself forced to partially retract some of my strong opinions. It is frustrating to be so passionate about the environment and feel like you know what is good for it and suddenly realize you have no idea what you are talking about. Seriously, I feel like tomorrow I am going to find out that recycling is horrible for the planet.

Over the course of the last few months I have been involved in a series of (sometimes) friendly arguments with Braden at Braden’s Corner of the Web about drilling for oil. His side of the argument is that we should drill on American soil for oil in order to drive the prices down. I on the other hand have argued that the only way to drive the price of oil down is to reduce our consumption.

Trent at The Simple Dollar wrote a great article in his weekly mailbag that I feel pretty much sums up my thoughts on the oil companies. Here is an excerpt:

“The solution is to put that support infrastructure in place right now. If you want to break up dependence on oil, look at individual consumer and political action. Buy highly fuel-efficient cars, or even look at all-electric options (yes, there are some). Use public transportation. Work politically to get people elected that will encourage such things - yes, even going so far as to support the Green Party, if need be. Don’t just focus on the presidential race, either - focus on the local race for Congress in your area and also for the state legislature. Who are the candidates and where do they stand on those issues? Work to support the greenest candidates by putting up signs and telling your neighbors. In other words, fight oil dependence at the revenue level, not at the profit level, while building a different transportation infrastructure.

I’m very serious about this. In fact, I’m strongly considering buying a Tesla Whitestar for our next car for most of our driving needs, even at the relatively high cost. Over a reasonable lifetime, no gas cost is potentially huge savings, as is the vastly reduced maintenance costs of having minimal moving parts in a vehicle. Pushing that curve is something that can bring about big change. If five million American families did that instead of griping about gas prices, profound changes would begin occurring very rapidly, as competitors would jump in and drive the price down, making electric cars compete in price with gas cars. When that happens, electric cars win in a landslide.”

We don’t have to go to extremes to bring down the price of oil. But if every American just did a little something…ANYTHING…like carpool, buy smaller cars, turn off lights and unused appliances, buy electric cars or small gas powered scooters, ride the bus, run, walk, blah blah blah BLAHHHHHH…

I still say we don’t need to drill for oil. But what do I know…I’m just a hippie environmentalist, that’s all.

Lets face it…I know about as much about cars as Hitler knew about compassion. I would probably have a tough time differentiating between a monster truck and a Gremlin let alone an oil filter and an air filter. My Dad never taught me a single thing about cars growing up. In fact, he rented three garages out to a race car driver for free as long as he(his name was Bill) would work on my Dad’s car when it needed it. My Dad never got his hands dirty, or replaced a single Jimmy-Rod-Do-Hickey on any of his cars and certainly didn’t teach me how to.

So, needless to say I am a sucker for unnecessary work that “needs” to be done on my car. In fact, not only am I a sucker, I have at times been a downright VICTIM!

For the longest time I would take my car to a franchise place called “BrakeMasters” when it needed an oil change, inspection and what-not. The last time I went there in January they told me (like so many times before) that I needed a whole bunch of things done to my truck in order for it to be ready for the Spring:

Oil Change: $20
Brake Fluid Flush??? $39
Brake Pad Cleaning??? $20
Exhaust Inspection??? $39
I was also informed that I would need new brake pads by the end of the year.

I will finish this part of the story in a second.

Now, my girlfriend’s “Low Coolant” light had been coming on periodically around the same time. So, she took her car to BrakeMasters with me then. They informed her that the cause was…

At this point they started using some technical jargon that I am convinced was meant to confuse and scare us into thinking there was a major problem…the only word I recognized was “Manifold” and I think the rest might as well have been in Russian. I almost immediately lost interest in what they were talking about and began thinking about how bad I wanted to go to Sonic and get a cheeseburger and a Cherry-LimeAid…

Anyway, it was something that was going to cost Jaci 650 dollars to fix. My truck was going to cost me $118 plus tax. We decided to check out a few more places for estimates and I darted for the door of BrakeMasters before they could get another word in. After we hightailed it out of that joint, Jaci told me about a tiny little garage on a crappy little service road behind her apartment. We decided it couldn’t hurt to check them out since they were so close to her place at the time. Come to find out it was owned by a couple of young guys named Ted and Jason and they were the only two that worked on cars there, unlike BrakeMasters who have like a buh-GILLION employees and really pushy managers and sales people.

Long story short, Jason and Ted fixed Jaci’s car for like 100 bucks less than BrakeMasters was going to charge and he explained to Jaci in clear terms that she could understand just WHAT the exact problem was with her car. He even used a visual aid, if you count a visual aid as him interlocking his greasy fingers to represent the engine and manifold or whatever it was. Once again I wasn’t really listening because I was thinking about the scene in the movie Wayne’s World when Garth accidentally scratches the entire side of some guy’s car with a rivet gun while messing around in Phil’s Auto Body Shop.

Anyway, Ted and Jason were great to us. So, needless to say I decided to take my truck in there for an oil change on a Thursday morning. I dropped it off and walked about a mile to the Border’s bookstore down the road. Jason called soon after and told me imy truck was done. I told him I would be there in about 20 minutes because I needed to walk back his way. He actually said “No” and insisted on coming to pick me up in his truck….and he did.

On the ride back to the shop the conversation went something like this:

Me: So how much do you charge for a brake fluid flush? BrakeMasters says I need one.

Jason: My truck has almost 300,000 miles on it. I have never-EVER flushed the brake fluid. It is not necessary.

Me: OK…well they told me I need the brake pads cleaned, too.

Jason: Just get some tire and rim cleaner and clean the brake dust off the inside of your rims if it bugs you. If it doesn’t bug you, DON’T! Cleaning your brake pads is not necessary. They will just get dirty again. They are right behind your tire and only a foot above the road. Plus, they grind against metal all day. They are suppose to get dirty.

Me: So do I need an exhaust inspection, then?

Jason: Looked OK to me from what I saw while I was under there.

Me: And will I need new brakes soon? That’s what…

Jason: That’s what BrakeMasters told you? No, you have 50 percent or more of your brake pad left. You are not even close to needing new brakes. See, BrakeMasters works on commission. They will try to sell you services you don’t need in order to make money. Ted and I work for reputation. We aren’t a franchise so we don’t have much to back us up but our work.  What I am telling you is that all you need today is a 24 dollar oil change and I hope you appreciate that enough to come back next time and maybe tell a friend or two.

So there you have it. My story ends there, but it has just begun. I am never going back to the Chevrolet dealer, or any large auto-care franchises like BrakeMasters or JiffyLube. I’m sticking with two greasy, dirty mechanics that own a shabby and somewhat run down auto shop. Why? Its simple…TRUST. Plus, I think its good for America. I think that Americans SHOULD spend their money at locations and retailers that they can honestly say that they know and trust. I think that wherever possible, we should try to do business with a handshake and on a first name basis.

Some people argue that America is built on capitalism. They might say that we wouldn’t be where we are today without Wal-Mart, Home Depot, McDonalds and Starbuck’s. But to me, what I think is the heart and soul of America…the bread and butter of our country…is the honesty and integrity that you get out of places like Ted and Jason’s Complete Auto Repair in Papillion, NE. Or that Ma and Pa grocery store that refuses to go out of business despite the big box stores sprouting up around it. Or the pharmacy down the street that still has the same cash register that they had in 1960.

It isn’t the suit and ties that make America strong. Its the grease under people like Jason and Ted’s fingernails. I encourage you to spend your economic stimulus money locally in your community. Gonna buy a new lawn mower? Why not buy it and Joe Blow’s hardware store instead of Home Depot this time? Why not go to Sally’s Bakery on the corner and buy your office two dozen doughnuts. Need some work done on your car? Why not go check out your local grease monkey auto shop. I did…it saved me money and everything about it felt great.

If anyone has ever listened to Dr. Laura Schlessinger on the radio, then you know how annoying she is. Recently she said something along these lines:

“Homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance…”

Well, Dr. Laura is right about what the bible says. That verse reads:

“Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.”

Lets take a look at some other things in the books of Leviticus and Exodus. If any of you are unfamiliar, these books are books of God’s law. It is basically a huge list and most of it sounds absolutely ridiculous when you try to apply His word to 2008.

Lev 1:9
“…It is a burnt offering an offering made by fire, an aroma pleasing to the Lord…”

Something tells me that if I want to burn a cow in my backyard, my neighbor Doug might have a slight problem with that.

Exodus 21:7
“If a man sells his daughter as a servant, she is not to go free as menservants do…”

So when Jaci and I have ourselves a little girl, it is apparently OK to go ahead and sell her into slavery if we need the extra cash to pay off our student loans? God says so, right?

Lev. 15: 19-24
“When a woman has her regular flow of blood…anyone who touches her will be unclean…for seven days”

Sorry, Jaci…when it is your time of the month, no hugs for you. No cuddling on the couch and watching a DVD together. Guys, when you want to shake a female co-worker’s hand, make sure you ask her if she is on her period before doing so. We wouldn’t want you to be unclean for seven days. It is OK to ask her…God says so.

Lev. 25:44
“Your male and female slaves are to come from the nations around you; from them you may buy slaves.”

So I can go get some slaves from Canada and Mexico and maybe even Cuba? Do they do yard work? How about sweep my garage floor? Sweet! I am glad God approves of this! Wish I would have known this a LONG time ago!

Exodus 35:2
“Whoever does any work on [the Sabbath] must be put to death.”

Alright. I have to work every single Sunday. Should I be scared for my life? Sorry, God…I have to make a living!

Lev. 11:12
“Anything living in the water that does not have fins and scales is to be detestable to you.”

So, no more fried oysters or crawfish boils? Alright, if you say so, God.

Lev. 21:20
“…[he] who has any eye defect…is not to come near to [the altar].”

So if you wear reading glasses or contact lenses, stay toward the back of the church. God says you are not allowed to come up near the front.

Lev. 19
“Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard…” 

So, I can keep the top and back of my hairdo cut short but never cut the hair around my ears? That would make for an interesting pseudo-mullet looking sort of thing.

Lev. 11:7
“And the pig, though it has a split hoof completely divided, does not chew the cud; it is unclean for you.”

Wait a second! Is God saying that I can’t even touch a football because it is made out of pig skin????

Lev. 19:19
“Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed.”

Wow! How many farmers in my home state of Iowa grow soybeans, alfalfa, corn and wheat all on the same farm? TONS! Should all of them be put to death immediately???

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Look, I am not intentionally mocking God’s word here (in fact, I am mocking Dr. Laura). But he was preaching to the Isrealites thousands and thousands of years ago. These laws applied to the things that were going on in their time, not the year 2008.

For Dr. Laura to use these ancient laws to justify her stance on homosexuality, I find absurd. Nearly all of these laws went out the window when God sent Christ to us. THESE LAWS WERE SUPERSEDED WHEN JESUS CAME. They sound absurd because they ARE absurd in this day and age. With the coming of Jesus, God went from being a God of wrath and fury, to becoming a God of love and compassion. Out went the strict civil and ceremonial laws and in came some very basic principles of love and compassion for our brothers and neighbors.

If two men or two women love each other and accept Jesus into their hearts, than we must believe that Jesus loves them unconditionally as well, no matter what their sexual preference. If you take an anti-homosexuality stance like Dr. Laura, that’s fine. But don’t use the book of Leviticus to justify your lack of an open mind. That is, unless, you want to follow all of the other 300 some laws that God laid out in those ancient times.

Man, I cannot stand gay bashers or people that resent ANYONE for their freedom of choice.

Tons of things have built up inside of me lately: On Sunday my church pastor mentioned that in 20 years, China will be the only world super power. I read the other day that our world’s water supply will be reduced by 40 percent in the next 50 to 60 years. I look at rising gas prices and our dependence on oil and how depressing that is. I watch the two major political parties go back and forth like 3rd graders in a school yard, but in the long run, nothing really gets accomplished. Jaci and I came home from a movie the other night and we just sat on the stairs and talked about the future of the United States and what it is going to be like when and if Jaci and I are ever able to retire or have children.

My point is this: I think the way that America and the rest of the world has evolved in the last 50 years is nearly irreversible. I am not saying we are all going to hell in a hand basket, but my GOD we need change. And I am not talking the kind of change that Obama thinks he is talking about. He may want to change everything that the Republicans are doing wrong, but it still won’t be PROGRESS. We need change in the form of progress.  We need brand spanking new ideas. We need to turn the thrift store into Rodeo Drive.

I wasn’t really sure how to make the transition into this paragraph so I will just start talking about it, I guess. I learned about the Green Party while studying in Wales, UK in 2004. I shouldn’t say that this was the first time that I have ever heard of Ralph Nader or the Green Party. This came back in 2000 when he was one of the many unmentioned parties opposing the Gore/Bush rivalry. In fact, the only time I ever really heard the media speak of the Green Party was when everyone was griping and complaining that Florida was lost because people voted for Nader instead of Gore and that he “stole” votes.

Anyway…focus Andy…

I first learned about the Green Party and really got to understand its fundamental values while studying in Wales. I made friends with two girls and a guy from Sweden and I learned about their system of Social Democratic government. It just seemed to make so much sense! And the people of Sweden are so incredibly happy and have SO MUCH pride in their country. All of this happiness while keeping its nose out of world turmoil and being leaps and bounds ahead of the game in environmental awareness and activism.

In my search to discover those same views and values in an American political party, I began to take a lot of interest in the Green Party. The Green Party is a party for the PEOPLE, people!!!! Greens bite their thumbs at big corporations. The Greens also believe that humans can live in harmony with the planet like peas and carrots…like hamburger and taco seasoning…like #2 and toilet paper.

The Greens believe that the root of a lot of society’s problems stem from the gap between rich and poor; and even the rich and middle class. Lets pretend that the population of America is 100 people. 20 of the richest people have half of the country’s income. The poorest 20 people only make a total of 4 percent of the the country’s income. Who do you think has an easier time exercising their democratic rights? The rich guys with half the country’s money or Joe Shmoe who is dressed in rags. In our ridiculous capitalist society, our politics are controlled by money and big corporations. If you don’t have money, you don’t get a fair chance at being heard and America cannot possibly call itself a democracy under these conditions. The Green Party believes this is unjust and unfair. Politicians are the last people that should be sell outs.

Do a little research and you will see that all types of media and advertising are controlled by less companies than I have fingers (I haven’t had any tree mulching accidents and don’t have an abnormal birth defect giving me additional phalanges). So, with so few sources for Americans to get information, how can we possibly be aware of and take advantage of all of our alternatives? How is that a democracy?

I realize that profit is always important in business, but the Green Party looks at our market system a little differently. You see, when we completely base our production on profit, we neglect and destroy our air, water, soil, trees, plants, animals, minerals and fossil fuel resources. On top of that we face global warming, rising sea levels, changing weather patterns (can you say Katrina? How about that Earthquake in Kentucky today? That ain’t normal…) and drought due to our recklessness and disregard for the environment. How can we ever harness the power of alternative energy and reduce the effects of polluting the environment when petroleum and Big Bad Oil have a death grip on our economy and our politicians? The Green Party (and I) believe there is simply something wrong with this picture.

We don’t need to spend half of the federal budget on the military. We don’t have to have as much pain and strife in America as we do. We can have smarter and healthier children. We can be proud of our jobs and organize labor for the individual not for the corporate machine.

I realize that the Green Party does not have all of the answers. But I think that as we go to the polls in November, we MUST be aware of ALL of the candidates. There are some ideologies out there that never get a breath of mention in the media and I think that there are some ideas out there that could make America a better place for future generations.

Check out the Ten Key Values. Check out the Green Party Platform. You may like what you see…you may not. I just know that for me, I would rather watch Barney and Friends than pay attention to the political garbage going on right now.

Politics…I have a love/hate relationship with you. Kind of like with John Madden…

Back in high school, my guidance counselor was the president of the League of Women Voters. She sparked my interest in attending caucuses, city council meetings and things of that nature. I spent one summer at Iowa State University my junior year at a camp for future political science majors. I won the Voice of Democracy essay contest at my high school 2 years in a row. I was really crazy about politics. I thought it was my calling. Then I went to college and basically forgot all about it.

Over the last 8 years I have gone through two tough transitions. The first is trying to figure out where I stand with God and my faith. The second is trying to figure out where I stand with my political beliefs. I don’t think I would be the only one in America to say that I don’t really care for either of the major political parties. Frankly, I am pretty fed up with both. It seems as the gap between the two parties widens, American progress slows down more and more. Basically, I have given up with trying to keep up with it all.

Every once in awhile, politics spark my interest again. I went to Wales, UK for my last year of college. While there I met some amazing people from Sweden and I became really, really intrigued by Scandinavian government. Basically, Sweden is a Social Democracy. Somewhere between Socialism and Democracy (hence the name…duh, Andy). They tax their citizens about 50 percent of their income, but here is the kicker: THEY DON’T PAY FOR ANYTHING AND THE GOVERNMENT ACTUALLY TAKES CARE OF THEM. People in Sweden almost NEVER complain about their government. And they don’t have to pay for college, daycare, health-care, insurance, sales tax or retirement. NOTHING…the government basically controls all of those things and the 50 percent of a household income that is left over is theirs to spend as they please. They have high taxation, but also great representation.

Scandinavian countries are pretty self sufficient. You never really hear about any major crisis up there, or here about them getting involved in any offensive military action. Their military budget is next to nothing compared to the rest of the world and they mind their own business. They are so happy and they have so much pride in their country and their culture. And one of the things that I most admire is that they are leaps and bounds ahead of the rest of the world in their conscientiousness about the environment.

In America, I feel like the closest political party to the Scandinavians is the Green Party. I think it is to bad that America is so Bi-Partisan. My guess is that most of us have never taken the time to research the political beliefs of other parties outside of the Republicans and Democrats.  It is to bad that most Americans have come to fear government or even HATE government. I used to be so passionate and intrigued by the state of political affairs and I have become so fed up with them by this point that I could really care less anymore. 

Anyway…back to the title of this blog. In the post below I mentioned a website that I stumbled across called Braden’s Corner. I was browsing through its content when I came across a post about environmentalists affecting the price of gasoline. It has been a long time since I have been involved in any kind of political discussion. Jaci could care less about politics and she is basically all I have to talk too. So I decided to leave a comment and put my two cents in to this Braden guy. Little did I know that it would spark a week long OBSESSION in which I completely neglected to run errands and do anything productive with my blog or for Jaci and I’s house plans. I wanted so bad for this Braden character to admit that he was wrong and I was right! I started to take the discussion on his blog VERY seriously and personally and I was actually getting stressed out about it.

At the end of the week I threw in the towel on the political discussion with him because I was exhausted. It was all I was thinking about outside of work and I needed to give it up. I came back to my own blog and I was so stressed out that I wrote the post below in one swift stream of consciousness. There is a valuable lesson that I learned shortly thereafter. There is a HUGE difference between someone firmly believing in something and sticking up for that belief, and that person being a JERK-OFF asshole. Braden is not the latter. I am going to leave the post below on here, but I would like to retract my previous statements about Braden’s character.

I know it has been a good lesson for me and I think it should be a lesson for everyone who may happen to stumble across this blog for some strange reason. Don’t judge other peoples’ overall character because of one specific set of personal beliefs that they have. In fact, I am going to make it a point to reevaluate my opinions of other people in my life. I began this blog to improve myself and here is another classic example of an area in my life where I can use a little self-improvement.

Anyway…I am going to stop being all Dr. Phil on myself and go eat a baked potato. Plus, I think my dog has to take a crap.

I absolutely can’t stand bottled water. I think it is about as bad of an invention as sliced bread was a good invention. It is completely insane that Americans go through so much of Earth’s most natural resource in bottled form when that water is so readily available from the taps of our homes. The marketing campaign surrounding bottled water is absolutely genius. Companies have managed to take two molecules of hydrogen and one molecule of oxygen and add words like “pure,” “spring,” “natural” and so many others and dress up those simple molecules to make them appear worth more than a dollar for 20 ounces! My opinion is simply this: Bottled water sucks.

First of all, bottled water is regulated by the FDA, while tap water is regulated by the EPA. The FDA’s rules are quite a bit less strict than the EPA’s when it comes to inspection of water quality. Bottled water contains the same amount if not more micro-organisms and toxins than tap water just because of this simple fact. What kinds of chemicals have been found in bottled water? How about arsenic and several types of carcinogens (known cancer causing elements).

Also, from what I can see, a lot of bottled water is simply tap water in disguise. I saw conflicting figures in what I read, but if I had to estimate it looks like in upwards of 25% of all bottled water is simply tap water put through a very basic filtration system called ”reverse osmosis.” Basically a big Brittafilter. Look at Coca-Cola; they have admitted publicly that Dasani is exactly the same water that we take baths and dumps in (oh, and that comes out of our sink).

The problem with filtering water is also this: You lose so many valuable minerals that occur in it. Also, a lot of the fluoride that is in tap water isn’t in bottled water and that is incredibly important for our dental health.

And of course we can’t talk about the ridiculousness of bottled water without talking about the 2 million TONS of plastic bottles that end up in landfills every year. Those bottles aren’t going to bio-degrade for 1000 years and God forbid they ever get recycled. 

If it is the taste of tap or well water that bugs you, I can understand. Like Pabst Blue Ribbon, it is an acquired taste. But there so many products out there that can help make your tap water taste better. Other than taste, you have no excuse to drink bottled water! Yes, they have found some pretty interesting stuff in tap water lately, including birth control and other prescriptions but those are in such small quantities that I have no idea why in the world there is such a fuss being made about them. That spring water that you drink is probably run off from ammonia fertilized farms, dead Salmon and Grizzly Bear pee.

Finally, consider the cost bottled water as opposed to tap water:
Tap: $0.002 per Gallon
Bottled: $9.00 per gallon.

Thanks for reading. I gotta go. I just finished a 48 oz. Minnesota-Twins-glass full of ice cold tap water and now I need to pee and not flush it.

First of all, let me just say that I am not an avid toilet flusher. This may seem gross to some people until you hear what I just came up with. But seriously, before I blow your mind, I just wanted to come right out and say that I personally do not flush the toilet after going #1. Only after going #2, usually. That is because up until today, I have always thought that it is very important to save water. Now, I find it EXTREMELY important. Here is why:

The average amount of water that it takes to flush a toilet is 5-7 gallons. Lets round it off to a happy sounding 6 gallons. Now, there are roughly 303, 622, 602 people in the United States. Of those 303, 622, 602, let us guess-timate that 2% of those are not potty trained and do not use toilets on a daily basis (infants and those of us who pee outside on bushes). That makes for about 297, 550, 149 regular toilet users in the United States. Lets estimate that each one of these toilet users pees 3 times a day (in the toilet) and flushes it each time. That would make for 18 gallons of water per person flushed down the toilet, per day. That means America uses 5,355 ,902,682 gallons of water a day or 1,954,904,478,930 (that’s TRILLIONS) gallons per year to flush their pee. I know this is a lot of numbers and you are probably looking for a point already but I am almost there! OK, so the Great Lakes combined have about 6,000,000,000,000,000 gallons of water in them. At the rate we are going, if America keeps flushing the toilet every time we pee, that alone will dry up the Great Lakes within 3000 years from now.

But with all of our industrial, commercial and personal uses for water, toilet flushing only accounts for LESS THAN 1% of the water that us Americans use up every day. Isn’t that unbelievable that we are using up Earth’s most natural resource as quickly as we are? It doesn’t have to be this way. We can each do our own part to save gallons and gallons of fresh water per person/per day. So think about little things like not flushing the toilet the next time you pee. It is really not all that gross…in fact, it is quite sterile. Here is another list of facts I found out about our outrageous water usage.

I grew up and spent most of my years before going off to college in a house that was built in 1919 in Sioux City, IA. No, it is not the one pictured above, which I posted to prove a point. The neighborhood that I grew up in was approximately 24×4 blocks of all houses. Not a single strip mall, Home Depot, Wal-Mart, movie theatre…NOTHING. The only thing there was besides houses was an enormous park at the end of the neighborhood. Now, in this 24×4 block area there were approximately 576 houses, and the amazing part is NOT…ONE…OF…THEM…WAS…THE…SAME. Not even close! I mean there were ranch styles, two stories, three stories, brick houses, ones with hills in the front yard, others with HUGE back yards, some with picket fences, some with huge porches, some with wrap around porches, some with long driveways, some with no driveways, some with evergreen trees, some with birch trees, some with massive oak trees etc. etc. etc.

My point is, builders back then took a lot of pride in building houses and the people that have lived in those houses ever since have a lot of pride in the uniqueness of them. These days, it just isn’t the same case. Half the time, I bet if I was drunk I would come home to the wrong house, walk inside, spend the night, get up and put someone elses clothes on, kiss someone else’s wife goodbye before work and be on my way without ever noticing what happened! They all look that much the same!!

Why did America start building houses this way? I know why, its because it is cheap. Every investor out there wants to build the cheapest house that will make them the most profit. If you have ever watched these subdivisions go up, you have seen them magically appear in about six months flat. Jaci and I are moving into our new house in less than two weeks and let me just tell you about our experience with home shopping. I bet we went and viewed 40 houses. Of those 40 houses we came across about 30 that were your typical mid-nineties cookie cutter house. They all seem to have split entries with the kitchen at the back of the house and the bedrooms above the garage. Every single shade of white paint and texture is the same. Every single microwave and stove is the same model. Every tub and shower looks alike. Every deck, patio and/or privacy fence out back looks the same as your neighbor’s house and his neighbor’s house and his neighbor’s house and so on and so forth. It literally took us until the fortieth house or so to find one that really made us say “Wow, I haven’t seen one like this before. What an interesting floor plan! And it has such character!” I think that fact is sad and pathetic.

No wonder the housing market is is crap these days. I think it is because people just aren’t getting excited about finding their dream home; something they can call their own and what makes them unique. The people that do move into these crap houses are getting ripped off by builders, banks and real estate tycoons. Once word spread that this was happening, it created a snowball effect and now nobody is excited about being a home buyer. Jaci and I just got lucky, I guess. My advice would be that if you are shopping for a new home, don’t move into a cookie-cutter house just because you are getting a good deal on it. Look at as many houses as it takes until you walk into one that makes you say “Wow.”

Feel free to comment below. You may need to click on the article’s title (headline) in order to open up the comment field below. You may also e-mail me any thoughts you might have to ahubbard13@bloginyourface.com and if I like what you have to say I will post it alongside this blog. If I don’t like what you have to say I may also post it alongside this blog along with my personal comments on where you should shove it!   

DISCLAIMER: I haven’t been posting much in the past couple of days because I have been trying to organize my thoughts for the following blog. It is simply something that I have wanted to get off my chest and I even considered not publicizing it because it is quite controversial and seems pretty insensitive. If you are easily offended or you have a personal sensitivity to the subject of suicide, please do not read the following post. I’ve just been really frustrated about people taking their own lives lately and I don’t know any other way to express my feelings than on the keyboard. I would like to apologize in advance.

Thanks,
Andy

I recently had yet another friend kill himself. Yep, that makes about 4 or 5 people that I have personally known that have chosen to end their life on their own terms. This time around, whether it is because it has become so repetitive or maybe I am just growing up and looking at things differently; but this time around it didn’t make me sad. In fact, it pissed me off really bad. I am officially EXTREMELY mad about suicide.

Depending on the state you live in, anywhere from 10 to 29 percent of American deaths can be attributed to suicide according to a quick Google. I guess it is no wonder that by the age of 25, I know about 5 kids who have taken their own life. Frankly, with those stats, I am surprised I don’t know of more.

So why does suicide suck so much? First of all, the monetary cost. Funerals can cost thousands of dollars. That doesn’t include the cost of people that have to clean up the deceased’s body. Then there is the burial plot, the cost of accommodating relatives in town for a funeral, the cost for relatives to seek counseling and possibly anti-depressant medication to cope, the cost of relatives having to miss work for bereavement periods, the cost of having to manage (get rid of) all of the deceased person’s belongings and the loss of income that the deceased may have once provided for his/her family. All those costs could potentially add up to hundreds of thousands or even millions of dollars! How selfish is it to leave that kind of a burden on your friends and family? Ugh, suicide sucks.

Why else does suicide suck? The way people who are suicidal try to reason with themselves and the excuses that they use.
Nobody appreciates me: This is bull-crap. I can understand why someone would come to feel this way. They might have a horrible family and not very many (or NO) friends. But to take your life because of it? Puh-Leeeze…Anyone who wants to commit suicide because they honestly think that nobody appreciates them should go to Big Brothers/Big Sisters and one time (JUST ONCE) take a kid to the bowling alley and pay attention to their reaction. I don’t care if you are the biggest dork in the world to your own age group, there is always a kid out there (maybe even a niece or nephew) that will think you are the coolest person in the world if you show them a little bit of attention. And what about a pet? If someone truly thought nobody appreciated them, than they have never gone to the pound or Humane Society and picked out a dog or cat that has been sitting in its own feces and eating cardboard dog/cat food and taken it home and loved it and held it and let it lick their face and taken it for walks on a sunny day. People who want to kill themselves because they don’t feel appreciated have obviously never volunteered JUST ONCE at a homeless shelter to serve beans and canned meat to the most grateful people who literally have nothing but the clothes on their backs…they have never sat and listened to a homeless person with schizophrenia rant and rave for a half an hour about absolutely nothing but who are simply excited that someone is looking at them and nodding their head like they understand.
I am Worthless: Wanting to kill yourself because you feel worthless? I have news for you: That excuse sucks. You want to feel like you are making a difference somehow? It is so EASY! You could write a letter to a soldier through AnySoldier or AMillionThanks and I bet you $1000 dollars that if you include a self-addressed stamped envelope, they will write you back. I dare you to go and mow your old neighbor’s lawn and tell me you don’t feel like you are contributing to the world. I dare you to start a blog that reaches out to other people that are feeling like you do right now and when you get your first comment telling you “Thanks,” I bet you don’t feel quite so worthless anymore. I dare you to go to the park and fill up one trash-bag full of garbage. I dare you to go to a random church (who cares what denomination) and step into the front office and offer to do anything and everything you can to help out. I dare you to get in line behind a single mother buying formula for her daughter and slip an envelope in her cart with 5 dollars in it with a note saying that someone knows it is hard being a Mommy and wants to give them a hand. I dare you to coach a little league baseball team even if you know nothing about baseball. I dare you to join a club and run for an office in that club…There may be people in your life that think you are worthless and they may tell you that every single day, but I guarantee there are thousands and thousands of people in your community that would love for you to share your talents and ideas. If someone is thinking of killing themselves because they feel like they have nothing to offer the world, I think that sucks.
I Failed: If you failed at something and you are thinking that it is now time to kill yourself because your world is over…well, I think that sucks. What is it? College, maybe? Here’s a story: My buddy drank away law school and failed out in the first semester. His parents, who were paying for it completely turned their backs on him because of it and didn’t want anything to do with him. What did he do? He went and got his commercial driver’s license and is making extremely good money driving a truck now. He loves it. He’s not ashamed of it. If you don’t find your passion or your calling at something the first time, then freaking do something else! Don’t let other people tell you what you destiny is. If someone thinks that failure is justification for killing themselves, then they haven’t got a clue about the big picture of life. It is extremely necessary for every man and woman on Earth to discover that big picture.
I am in debt: I knew a girl that killed herself because she had thousands and thousands in credit card debt and medical bills. Can you believe it? She took her precious life and everything that she had to contribute because of money. The same thing happened to thousands of people during the stock market crash of 1929. People were jumping out of Wall Street windows. There is no amount of money in this world worth killing oneself over. NO AMOUNT! My sister had to declare bankruptcy a few years back because of some financial struggles. She met someone just like herself; they had bad financial histories in common, they got married and now are living in a trailer on an Army base and slowly but surely getting their lives back together. She went from having a a 225,000 dollar house and everything else in the world to living in a 200 dollar a month trailer and she absolutely could not be happier. If you have to, swallow your pride and see a credit counselor, declare bankruptcy or even file for unemployment or welfare benefits. You are not alone and have nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, you get a clean slate! Thousands of other Americans are going through exactly the same thing and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to financial woes. Contemplating suicide because of monetary reasons is absolutely absurd.
“So-and-So” doesn’t love me anymore: People actually take their own lives everyday because one certain someone won’t love them anymore. They feel like killing themselves will finally get the attention of that someone once and for all. First of all, when you are dead and gone, that someone will move on and forget all about you. He/She will not sit around for the rest of their lives feeling sorry for you or themselves. They will find someone who is alive and who can touch and hold them and be there for them. You will be out of the picture for good. Look, heartbreak is an absolutely miserable and ruthlessly horrible feeling. Hopelessness goes along with it and can eat us away from the inside out. But I guarantee…I GUAR-AN-FREKIN’-TEE that ending your life over one boy or girl, even after years of a relationship or marriage, is NOT yours or anyone’s destiny. Time heals things and makes them all better. Killing oneself does nothing. Absolutely Nothing. Zilch. Nada. Even if you have to drink and cry yourself to sleep for weeks or months, that’s fine. I would even go so far as to say that is pretty normal. Once things start getting better, put yourself back out there. It is easier than ever to meet people these days. There are so many clubs, organizations and online dating sites for people to get the socializing, love and affection that we so desperately need. Love sometimes does not last forever. In fact, people are so self-consumed these days that loving someone else is getting more and more difficult. However, there is one thing that has always and will forever be true: PAIN IS TEMPORARY. Another ultimate truth? Death is permanent. Suicide for the sake of heartbreak just plain sucks. It is just not worth it…BUT LIFE IS PRICELESS. Its a no brainer.

If there was such a thing as the most legitimate reason for suicide it would be mental illness. I understand that people have absolutely no control over mental illness that afflicts them. Depression and other disorders can lead people to do the most unimaginable things. I realize that mental illness most likely plays a role in nearly every single successful suicide. I am not that insensitive or ignorant of a person to not realize this. What frustrates me is how Americas deal with mental illness.

If someone had pneumonia, people would think they were foolish to not seek treatment that is available to cure that particular disease. But sadly we look at mental illness differently. If we have depression or anger issues ourselves, we try and over come them or cover them up. We see them as weakness and burden. If we see others with signs of mental illness we tell ourselves that it is temporary and/or circimstancial and they will grow out of it. We think that by being supportive family members and friends alone, we can help others through their mental issues. To me, mental illness is more serious than cancer, heart disease or Alzheimer’s. Unfortunately, we tend to take it far less seriously.

What makes this frustrating to me is that science is making leaps and bounds with medication to treat depression, anger etc. There are thousands of self help books out there and religious and spiritual organizations to help people get through mental illness. The United States government allocates anywhere from 70 to 100 billion dollars a year to help this country gain control of our minds! After all, our minds and our emotions are what make us humans and superior to all other creatures on God’s Earth! However, even with all of these things out there to help people with mental illness, the majority of it is still going to waste (so to speak) because people refuse to seek help. Instead, every 16 minutes in the U.S. someone takes their own life. That precious, PRECIOUS life that God so desperately wanted them to change the world with. Suicide sucks, but what sucks even more is when that suicide is contributed to a treatable mental illness that we failed to address properly.

This is Andy, signing off and officially stepping down from my soapbox…for now.

I am not one to sit here and lecture on the topic of everyone’s favorite little cancer sticks. However, I am going to do so anyway and I’ll tell you why: You see, I freeking LOVE smoking cigarettes and nothing will ever change that…NOTHING…EVER. I had my first cigarette at the age of thirteen or fourteen and smoked on and off; socially and alone; drunk and sober, all the way up and past the age of 25 (currently). Fortunately, I have all but completely given up the habit (not the addiction) within the last five or six months. Why and how? Because of Jaci, that’s why. She is one of the only things in this world that I love more than a good smoke. I am blessed to have her as motivation to keep me away from those sweet, luscious cigarettes. She seriously would call off the wedding if she caught me lighting up one more smoke between now and then. How did I manage, for the most part to finally say “Screw It” and refuse to give in (to smoking) anymore? I had quite an unconventional method, which I will discuss shortly; but first, I would like to give you a few scenarios:

Scenario #1 What it actually feels like to have chronic bronchitis:
Your breathing passages have thousands of little finger like hairs that line the insides of them all the way down your trachea and into your lungs. These little guys are call cilia. They brush back and forth and catch all kinds of dust and other nasty stuff that you breathe in and through the brushing motion they slowly start working it back up the way it came. Eventually it triggers a tickle and you hack something up and spit it out. When you smoke, the mucus down there gets so think that the cilia can’t even move anymore which means they can’t expel impurities anymore. This leaves only one way for the lungs to clean themselves and that’s when you hear the beautiful sounds of the chunky smoker’s cough.

Problem is, that mucus gets so think that no matter how much you cough and hack, it ain’t comin’ up!  So bacteria get in there in you airways and set up shop. Have you ever seen those Mucinex commercials? Then you know what I am talking about. Anyway, the bacteria cause the airways to become permanently red and swollen and you get a cough that never ever goes away no matter how many REEEEE-CO-LAAHHHHHHs you suck down. Once chronic bronchitis gets advanced enough you will probably get pneumonia a couple times a year and you will never get a good night’s sleep unless you sleep propped up in a chair and we all know how comfortable that is.

Scenario #2 What it is like to have emphysema:

First you are going to find yourself a little out of breath. No big deal right? Well, once the advance symptoms of emphysema set in you are in for a heck of a ride and it happens QUICK. Pretty soon you won’t be able to walk even a city block without wheezing and having to stop for a break. Then you are going to go to your doctor and he is going to prescribe you some inhalers and steroids and those aren’t going to work so you go back. Then you will get sent to a specialist and you will get your lungs scanned, wherein you will be told that you have emphysema which is absolutely 100 percent irreversible. You will have to go back very often for blood work, chest x-rays, dobutamine stress tests, CAT scans and much more just so Doc can tell you that you are slowly dying! You might be able to get a lung transplant but if you are over 50 years old it will most likely kill you. Expect to lose about 15% of what little lung function you have left every ten years until you have none left. Your nervousness about impending doom will surely require some expensive anti-depressants and put a whole bunch of stress on your family. If you make it to your 60^th birthday, you won’t be able to blow out any candles; in fact, emphysema patients normally can’t even blow out a match.

Scenario #3: What it is really like to have lung cancer:

First, you will probably catch a nasty case of pneumonia and when you go to the hospital they will scan your lungs and notice a whole bunch of tumors all over them. Or, you might have extremely painful shoulder and back pain until you can’t stand it any more and when you see your doctor he’ll tell you that it is because the cancer has spread to your spine and kidneys and he won’t be talking about Zodiac signs!

Most Lung cancer is inoperable so if your doctor doesn’t bring up surgery, don’t bother asking. I hope your family owes you some major favors because they are going to have to drive you to radiation treatment five days a week for five weeks. Then you get two weeks off and then repeat process! Radiation will burn pretty bad and give you spasms as painful as heart attacks. After the radiation doesn’t work you get to start on that yummy little stuff called Chemotherapy, which is simply a fancy term for poison. You will probably g