BLOG IN YOUR FACE

Well, as if the Minnesota Twins couldn’t suck any more than they already do, they had to go and get swept by the White Sox. They lost by a 4-game combined total of 15 points to the White Sox’s 40 points! I hate seeing them lose to the damn Sox, let alone lose 4 games in a row. In fact, I can’t think of many things that I hate seeing more. I have compiled a short list of some things that I would actually rather  see than my Twins sucking this bad. Here they are in no particular order:

1) Roseanne Bar in a ketchup bikini.
2) Marilyn Manson doing a Dwight Yoakam cover.
3) Chris Farley naked in a kiddy pool full of Ramen Noodles.
4) Jaci gaining 65 pounds.
5) My parents making out.
6) Ru Paul in a Victoria’s Secret Commercial.
7) Ball Park Franks Inc. going out of business.
8 ) You Don’t Mess With Zohan winning an Oscar.
9) Poop on the back of the toilet seat.
10) Amy Winehouse as my kids’ kindergarten teacher.
11) Richard Simmons starring in the next Batman movie.

Seriously, I am taking offense to our offense. We gotta pick it up. At least we have the Indians for a series…always an upside, I guess.