BLOG IN YOUR FACE

I know that God tests us everyday of our lives in different ways. These past couple of days he has really gone over the top!!! I didn’t get sick…ALL…WINTER…LONG. That is pretty good considering I share a floor of an office building with 500 some people and this was an extremely cold and miserable Nebraska winter.

However, the day that it hits 80 degrees for the first time, my ear started to ache. And now it has multiplied exponentially and the crud has completely taken over every membrane, gland and organ in my face, throat and chest. I was sitting at work yesterday and the pins and needles took over my face. You know, when you are freezing and sweating at the same time. I felt like I had something that was a cross between the Black Plague and the Ebola Virus.

Here is what I have been doing to treat the sonuvabitch:

1) Drinking English breakfast tea.
2) Having Jaci scratch my head while I lay in her lap and moan and groan.
3) Using throat numbing spray every 10 minutes.
4) Using nasal spray like a black tar heroin addict.
5) Cleaning my ears out nightly with the baby booger sucker outer thingy.
6) Taking generic Sudafed which works about as well on my cold as tomato juice baths do when you get sprayed by a skunk (and by this I mean it does not work worth a crap).

I refuse to call in sick, though. As Martin Luther King, Jr. once said “I have a dream that one day I will put a sweet down payment on a car with the money I make selling my sick days back to the company…”

The most valuable lesson I ever learned from my Father is that calling in sick is for wussies.