Mini Blog#36 - Minnesota Twins Update
Well, it could be worse. 18 games into the season, my Twinkies are right in the middle of the pack in the American League Central. I think the biggest problem this year is our batting. I mean, hell, every single night we have guys on the web gems making some stellar defensive plays. You have Delmon Young throwing guys out from left field…you’ve got Morneau throwing guys out behind his back…even last night the Twins had 4 double plays in the same damn game!!!
We just simply cannot get our bats on the ball enough and I think I have figured out the problem: Grape Big League Chew…or lack there of, that is. Yes, that has to be it. I don’t think our guys are chewing enough of the stuff. Everybody knows that Grape Big League Chew has 37 essential anti-oxidants as well as 14 valuable vitamins and minerals. Scientific and clinical studies have proven that Grape Big League Chew can increase batting averages by an average of 50/1000 of a point. That would easily bring the Twins team batting average past the Angles in the American League.
And of course, Grape Big League Chew is not on the list of banned substances by Major League Baseball. Maybe I’m just an arm chair trainer, but I really think I know what I’m talking about here.
Anyway, my non-weird-heterosexual-man-crush, Scott Baker, is starting against the Indians today. I predict a 2-hitter at worst. Twins win 5-0.