BLOG IN YOUR FACE

There is a new Minnesota Twins Territory commercial out today but I have to admit that I don’t understand it all. Delmon Young of all people stars in it and although I have watched it at least 10 times I still can’t figure out what the old guy says the second time that he talks. And who is the fat white guy at the end??? The commercial is called “Gurus” and you can see it here.

On Thursday, the young right-hander, Kevin Slowey had a hell of a game. He pitched 5 straight scoreless innings in the Twin’s shutout against the Reds; 4-0. In honor of Slowey’s performance, I decided to do a little FAQ about him:

Full Name: Kevin Micheal Slowey
Born: 05/04/1984
That makes him: 23 years old
How old he looks close up: At least 41 years old
College: Winthrop
Where the hell is Winthrop?: Rock Hill, SC
Type of Pitcher: Control Pitcher
SAT Score: 1420
Who he reminds me of: Brad Radke
Why he is not my favorite pitcher: Because Scott Baker is.

On Friday, despite Cuddy going 3 for 3 at the plate, the Twins still lost to the Phillies 3-2. Livan Hernandez didn’t have his best start of the spring. Meh…

Saturday Boof Bonser got the start against the Cardinals. He was coming off one heck of a game, but like Livan on on Friday, he sucked. Nick Blackburn came in to do damage control after Boofy boy left, and in typical Nick Blackburn fashion, he pitched two scoreless innings.

Thank GAAAWWWWDD Francisco Lariano is back in Francisco Lariano form. With his patheticness so far this spring I was beginning to get a little worried. However, today (Sunday) he came out and was EN FUEGO: Four scoreless innings, 5 strikeouts, and only two walks. Phil Humber and Joe Nathan came in after Lariano and between the two of them they had three “wham-bam-thank you ma’am” scoreless innings. Twins beat the O-O-O-rioles 3-1.

On Friday the Twins knocked their roster down to 35 guys from 40. They said “Toodley-Doo” to outfielder Garrett Jones and 4 pitchers that suck.

In “Its about EFF-ing time” News, the contract for our Super-dee-duper closer, Joe Nathan is about wrapped up. Rumor on the Twins website is that he will get around $11-12 million for 4 years. Not a bad living for a guy who only throws an inning or two every few games or so.

My non-weird-heterosexual-man-crush, Scott Baker got to pitch a little in a minor league game on Saturday. This was his first start since tweaking his back on March 8th. However, in typical “Gee-thanks-a-lot-God” fashion the game was rained out after not even three innings. Rumor has it that Scotty will be pitching back for the Twins on Wednesday. Cross your fingers…and toes…and legs…and eyes.

Today (Sunday) in “I-kinda-figured-that-would-happen” News, the Twins released pitcher Glen Perkins. You gotta go figure when the guy was carrying a 7.50 ERA this spring…

I just want the season to get here. I am pretty exhausted with spring training and with my attention span, it is hard to care about what is going on when it doesn’t count. Tomorrow, Monday, there are going to be about 10 cuts and that will finally give fans a pretty dang good idea about who the 25-man roster will consist of. I am just excited and ready to start kicking some White Sock and Indian a$$, already.