BLOG IN YOUR FACE

It has been a long week. We moved into our house on Monday and, frankly, it has taken up so much of my time since then that I really don’t want to blog about it. I am sick of even thinking about things that involve the house. We hadn’t even gotten a second to breathe and then my buddy from Minnesota, my girlfriend’s parents, my girlfriend’s grandparents, my parents, my aunt and my two grandparents all decided that they wanted to come into town this weekend and see the new crib. I have never been so overwhelmed in my quarter-century of a life as I was this weekend. On top of all that, we barely made a dent in unpacking because everywhere we wanted to unload a box was occupied by a guest sleeping or sitting there. I have spent 250 dollars of unplanned money at the hardware store in the past 4 days. No, these aren’t things like charcoal grills and snow-blowers to keep up with the Joneses. We are talking some serious essentials that I never dreamed of needing until I got my first home. My dog is anxious and doesn’t know what is going on and so she has peed on the floor 3 times. We don’t have a washer and dryer so I spent valuable time washing clothes at the laundry mat and we all know what an exciting experience that is.

I am:
sore from moving the piano; sick from drinking to much coffee; mad at Mother Nature for blowing leaves back into my yard after I spent 2 hours raking Saturday morning; in desperate need of a beer or five; broke; happy that we got a new Wii game as a housewarming present; devastated that I don’t have the energy to play it; and sick of living out of boxes.

Tomorrow I have declared “Man Stuff Monday.” My buddy is coming over and we are going to walk around the house inside and out in search of projects that we can undertake this summer. I already know that I am going to be sniffing enough paint in the coming months that I will probably be talking out of the side of my mouth by the end of it all.

I need to take things one thing at a time. I need to tell Jaci that I love her and show her that living with me is not going to drive her crazy (we had separate apartments up until Monday). I need to pay attention to my dog. I have GOT to make sure that I do things for me. And most of all I need to get back on the blog. I have so many posts I want to write. It has been a long week.

P.S. My buddy Tony dislocated his shoulder playing Wii tennis. It took us two hours to get it back in the socket. Random but completely true story…

If you really want to read the whole news story you can read it here but I wanted to share this funny headline from the Omaha local news. Someone must have actually thought that this sounded OK enough to publish it. I ran around the office trying to get people to say it three times fast (nothing like being productive on the job). Can you???

Contractor Claims Copper Klepto Clipped Cops’ Cables

Kind of a mouthful, huh?

I had to work all day on Easter today so this is the first opportunity that I have really gotten to post a “Happy Easter” message. I decided to divide the message into two separate ones, so here goes:

Happy Easter to Non-Christians! Even though you don’t believe in the whole meaning behind Easter, I hope that you believe in the message behind it which is this: Miracles DO happen and you should celebrate the unexplained things in your life and not question them!

Happy Easter to Christians! Jesus died for your sins and don’t think for ONE second that you aren’t worth it. Jesus rose from the freaking DEAD so don’t for one second say that you can’t get through the tough stuff going on in your life right now! Anything is possible with God. Jesus’ Resurrection goes to show us that life is more than just the shell that we call our bodies. Do something good for your soul today!

I could have made this two separate blogs but I am tired and I wanted to test out my new YouTube plug in to make sure it works really quick:

I know that Easter and President FAQ do not have anything to do with eachother, but I just had to make sure I could post a video of my FIRST HOUSE that I close on and move into tomorrow!!! I have been so nervous and overwhelmed by it that I have barely mentioned it on my blog, but tomorrow it really is going to happen. It is completely surreal to me. I will officially be a homeowner…

ANYWAY, now that I know that my video plugin works, I will take some video shots of my humble abode sometime in the next couple of days and attempt to display them!!!

There is a new Minnesota Twins Territory commercial out today but I have to admit that I don’t understand it all. Delmon Young of all people stars in it and although I have watched it at least 10 times I still can’t figure out what the old guy says the second time that he talks. And who is the fat white guy at the end??? The commercial is called “Gurus” and you can see it here.

On Thursday, the young right-hander, Kevin Slowey had a hell of a game. He pitched 5 straight scoreless innings in the Twin’s shutout against the Reds; 4-0. In honor of Slowey’s performance, I decided to do a little FAQ about him:

Full Name: Kevin Micheal Slowey
Born: 05/04/1984
That makes him: 23 years old
How old he looks close up: At least 41 years old
College: Winthrop
Where the hell is Winthrop?: Rock Hill, SC
Type of Pitcher: Control Pitcher
SAT Score: 1420
Who he reminds me of: Brad Radke
Why he is not my favorite pitcher: Because Scott Baker is.

On Friday, despite Cuddy going 3 for 3 at the plate, the Twins still lost to the Phillies 3-2. Livan Hernandez didn’t have his best start of the spring. Meh…

Saturday Boof Bonser got the start against the Cardinals. He was coming off one heck of a game, but like Livan on on Friday, he sucked. Nick Blackburn came in to do damage control after Boofy boy left, and in typical Nick Blackburn fashion, he pitched two scoreless innings.

Thank GAAAWWWWDD Francisco Lariano is back in Francisco Lariano form. With his patheticness so far this spring I was beginning to get a little worried. However, today (Sunday) he came out and was EN FUEGO: Four scoreless innings, 5 strikeouts, and only two walks. Phil Humber and Joe Nathan came in after Lariano and between the two of them they had three “wham-bam-thank you ma’am” scoreless innings. Twins beat the O-O-O-rioles 3-1.

On Friday the Twins knocked their roster down to 35 guys from 40. They said “Toodley-Doo” to outfielder Garrett Jones and 4 pitchers that suck.

In “Its about EFF-ing time” News, the contract for our Super-dee-duper closer, Joe Nathan is about wrapped up. Rumor on the Twins website is that he will get around $11-12 million for 4 years. Not a bad living for a guy who only throws an inning or two every few games or so.

My non-weird-heterosexual-man-crush, Scott Baker got to pitch a little in a minor league game on Saturday. This was his first start since tweaking his back on March 8th. However, in typical “Gee-thanks-a-lot-God” fashion the game was rained out after not even three innings. Rumor has it that Scotty will be pitching back for the Twins on Wednesday. Cross your fingers…and toes…and legs…and eyes.

Today (Sunday) in “I-kinda-figured-that-would-happen” News, the Twins released pitcher Glen Perkins. You gotta go figure when the guy was carrying a 7.50 ERA this spring…

I just want the season to get here. I am pretty exhausted with spring training and with my attention span, it is hard to care about what is going on when it doesn’t count. Tomorrow, Monday, there are going to be about 10 cuts and that will finally give fans a pretty dang good idea about who the 25-man roster will consist of. I am just excited and ready to start kicking some White Sock and Indian a$$, already.

OK, so this isn’t really a meal, but it is sooooooo good. If you like coffee liquor, than you know how expensive a bottle of Kahlua can be. I used to pay at least 25 dollars a bottle for the stuff…that is until I met Jaci’s father. From him I learned how to make amazing homemade Kahlua that, with a little bit of milk and ice, makes a mind blowing drink. So, here, just in time for summer (almost), is a really really really easy recipe for the stuff.

Get out a pot. Put 3 cups of sugar, a half of a cup of instant coffee, 3 cups of water, and 1/4th of a teaspoon of salt into a pot. Bring it all to a boil while stirring it the whole time to dissolve the coffee. As with most of the really really really easy meals, don’t turn your burner all the way up to boil the stuff. Just set it at about 5 or 6 out of 10 so that you don’t burn the heck out of the sugar before it dissolves. After it boils turn it all the way down to the lowest heat setting and stir it and let it simmer for about 5 more minutes. Then turn the heat all the way off and let it cool completely. You can speed up the process by putting it in the ‘fridge. After it has cooled off, add two cups of REALLY cheap Vodka. Seriously, I bought the $10 3-liter bottle of vodka that is on the very bottom shelf and basically tastes like rubbing alcohol by itself. But, you DO NOT need expensive vodka for this recipe, I promise you. Anyway, add the two cups of vodka and a table spoon of vanilla extract (baking section of your grocery store…dark brown liquid in about a 6 oz. bottle). Use a funnel or else very carefully pour it into an old liquor bottle. Pour some into a glass and add some milk or cream and ice and you have a White Russian!!! I think you will be pleasantly surprised at how much this tastes like the real thing.

Invite your friends over one summer afternoon and sip on this stuff out on the back patio. It is WAY cheaper than going out on the town.

Jaci and I were taking some out of town friends of ours to Dave and Busters (basically a Chucky Cheese for adults if you’ve never heard of it) last night and as we were driving there, Jaci got lost and I, of course, have the sense of direction of a drunk mule. So Jaci takes out her phone and texts someone. A couple seconds later she got a text message back and she automatically KNEW the exact address of the place. Here is how the conversation went:

<ME> What just happened? How did you do that?
<Jaci> Do what?
<ME> Who told you the address to Dave and Busters?
<Jaci> Google
<ME> Who is Google?
<Jaci> Oh, you know, only the best search engine ever.
<ME> OK
<Jaci> Why are you staring at me?
<ME> Because I still want to know how you did that.
<Jaci> Did what?
<ME> Got the address to Dave and Busters.
<Jaci> I sent a text message to Google and asked them “Where is Dave and Buster’s in Omaha, NE?” Google texted me back and gave me the address.
<ME> OK
<Jaci> You’re still staring at me…
<ME> Its because you are ridiculously sexy.
<Jaci> (Eye Roll)

So maybe I am the last person to figure this out or hear about it, but apparently you can text questions to the search engine Google from your cell phone. Jaci sent a text message to the corresponding numbers that spell the word Google (466453) and BAM!!!! she gets a response back just like that. And it is free. Whoa…

Also, I learned yesterday that if you fill up a crusty crockpot full of hot water and you toss a couple of dryer sheets in there and let it soak, the stuff comes off like nothing. No scrubbing. No nothing. I no longer have to rent a jack hammer to get burnt cheddar cheese off the side of the wretched thing. Nice!!!

Politics…I have a love/hate relationship with you. Kind of like with John Madden…

Back in high school, my guidance counselor was the president of the League of Women Voters. She sparked my interest in attending caucuses, city council meetings and things of that nature. I spent one summer at Iowa State University my junior year at a camp for future political science majors. I won the Voice of Democracy essay contest at my high school 2 years in a row. I was really crazy about politics. I thought it was my calling. Then I went to college and basically forgot all about it.

Over the last 8 years I have gone through two tough transitions. The first is trying to figure out where I stand with God and my faith. The second is trying to figure out where I stand with my political beliefs. I don’t think I would be the only one in America to say that I don’t really care for either of the major political parties. Frankly, I am pretty fed up with both. It seems as the gap between the two parties widens, American progress slows down more and more. Basically, I have given up with trying to keep up with it all.

Every once in awhile, politics spark my interest again. I went to Wales, UK for my last year of college. While there I met some amazing people from Sweden and I became really, really intrigued by Scandinavian government. Basically, Sweden is a Social Democracy. Somewhere between Socialism and Democracy (hence the name…duh, Andy). They tax their citizens about 50 percent of their income, but here is the kicker: THEY DON’T PAY FOR ANYTHING AND THE GOVERNMENT ACTUALLY TAKES CARE OF THEM. People in Sweden almost NEVER complain about their government. And they don’t have to pay for college, daycare, health-care, insurance, sales tax or retirement. NOTHING…the government basically controls all of those things and the 50 percent of a household income that is left over is theirs to spend as they please. They have high taxation, but also great representation.

Scandinavian countries are pretty self sufficient. You never really hear about any major crisis up there, or here about them getting involved in any offensive military action. Their military budget is next to nothing compared to the rest of the world and they mind their own business. They are so happy and they have so much pride in their country and their culture. And one of the things that I most admire is that they are leaps and bounds ahead of the rest of the world in their conscientiousness about the environment.

In America, I feel like the closest political party to the Scandinavians is the Green Party. I think it is to bad that America is so Bi-Partisan. My guess is that most of us have never taken the time to research the political beliefs of other parties outside of the Republicans and Democrats.  It is to bad that most Americans have come to fear government or even HATE government. I used to be so passionate and intrigued by the state of political affairs and I have become so fed up with them by this point that I could really care less anymore. 

Anyway…back to the title of this blog. In the post below I mentioned a website that I stumbled across called Braden’s Corner. I was browsing through its content when I came across a post about environmentalists affecting the price of gasoline. It has been a long time since I have been involved in any kind of political discussion. Jaci could care less about politics and she is basically all I have to talk too. So I decided to leave a comment and put my two cents in to this Braden guy. Little did I know that it would spark a week long OBSESSION in which I completely neglected to run errands and do anything productive with my blog or for Jaci and I’s house plans. I wanted so bad for this Braden character to admit that he was wrong and I was right! I started to take the discussion on his blog VERY seriously and personally and I was actually getting stressed out about it.

At the end of the week I threw in the towel on the political discussion with him because I was exhausted. It was all I was thinking about outside of work and I needed to give it up. I came back to my own blog and I was so stressed out that I wrote the post below in one swift stream of consciousness. There is a valuable lesson that I learned shortly thereafter. There is a HUGE difference between someone firmly believing in something and sticking up for that belief, and that person being a JERK-OFF asshole. Braden is not the latter. I am going to leave the post below on here, but I would like to retract my previous statements about Braden’s character.

I know it has been a good lesson for me and I think it should be a lesson for everyone who may happen to stumble across this blog for some strange reason. Don’t judge other peoples’ overall character because of one specific set of personal beliefs that they have. In fact, I am going to make it a point to reevaluate my opinions of other people in my life. I began this blog to improve myself and here is another classic example of an area in my life where I can use a little self-improvement.

Anyway…I am going to stop being all Dr. Phil on myself and go eat a baked potato. Plus, I think my dog has to take a crap.

Man, I have had a lot of anxiety lately. We move into our house on Monday (March 24th) and it seems like I can’t get things prepared fast enough. Jaci works 55 to 60 hours a week and sometimes I feel like she isn’t doing her fair share (and I know this is not the case…she is trying really hard with the time that she has). It seems like I can’t get up early enough to get everything done that I want too before work. It seems like wedding plans are never ending. I feel as if I don’t spend enough time with friends and family. Jaci gets really upset when I get so nervous and on edge all the time. She thinks I am going to get another ulcer and that was REALLY bad news the first time it happened. My health insurance is giving me crap and I keep having to put them in their place over a dermatologist visit four months ago. I feel like Jaci and I are spending more money than we should lately. I got stood up by a hero of mine that I was suppose to meet for lunch (he couldn’t help it, his daughter was sick, but still). Things are getting busy at church. I ordered my M.I.A. album on Amazon like a week ago and it still isn’t here. My dog has been driving me crazy with her anxiety (doesn’t like all the boxes and clutter around here…she is very confused). I didn’t get to send my Nephew an Easter basket this year and I feel soooooo bad about that. I have been working really hard on creating the ultimate March Madness bracket. I have been in a very heated discussion thread in a conservative politics blog called Braden’s Corner. He posted one little post about high gas prices and he blamed environmentalists and it just set me off the deep end. So, rather than be productive the last couple of days I have been over on his blog giving him piece after piece of my mind and it is doing me absolutely no good to get myself riled up over the debate with him like I am. He can be a real jerk and I am letting him get the best of me with his negative attitude. Don’t get me wrong, he writes a great blog and I really enjoy its content; it is just that he ALWAYS has to be right and if he is wrong he tends to ignore your facts and takes very personal jabs at people in order to avoid the subject…UGH! I will be writing a blog very shortly about my love/hate relationship with politics and how my feud with Braden is a classic example of it.  

So, needless to say I am freaking out about a whole bunch of things lately that I really just need to let go of and cast upon God through prayer. There is no sense in holding onto all these things and making myself miserable when God desperately wants to help. I have a tiny black notebook that I carry with me wherever I go and I write down almost EVERYTHING in. I cross things off as I have completed them or if I no longer think about them. Lately it seems like I am doing a lot more writing than crossing off, but that is beside the point. I wrote out PSALMS 55:22 on the inside cover to remind myself every time I open up my task/thought booklet in order to say a mini prayer. No matter what I get accomplished and what I fail to make enough time for and don’t get accomplished, God will sustain me. He won’t let me down. Anxiety is so unnecessary when I have my best friend on my side. Lighten up already, Andy. Enjoy the ride!

I realize that I do not have many readers on this blog. In fact, maybe only 1 (GirlRobot)??? However, I am still looking for a charity for my Potty Mouth campaign. The first e-mail (ahubbard13@bloginyourface.com) that I get with an an honest charity suggestion will be the one I go with. I am really starting to improve myself, but I really want some motivation. Please read the Potty Mouth blog and let me know who your favorite charity is. Thanks.

Also, I have Good Friday off and I have some blogs that I want to tweak and post. The one I have been spending the most time on is my love/hate relationship with politics. So look for those tomorrow (Friday). Also look for Jaci and I’s March Madness picks and an easy March Madness Crockpot Meal. If anyone is reading this and is going out of town for the weekend, please drive safe and tailgate a semi so that you can get better gas mileage.

I have hardly had time to catch up on Twinkie’s news lately because Jaci and I have been so busy with March Madness and filling out our brackets. Correction: I have been so busy filling out both Jaci and I’s brackets to catch up on Twins news. Luckily they had Wednesday off so that I could really focus on making my winning bracket. I was the champion in 2006 and I am determined to bring the title back where it belongs. But anyway, here is a quick recap: 
Monday March 17th: Twins lose 3-5 (vs. Marlins)
Francisco Liriano got to pitch for the third time this spring. Once again, he kind of sucked. He gave up 5 hits and 3 runs before they pulled him. Stupid Tommy John’s Surgery…
Tuesday March 18th: TWINS WIN!!!!!!!!!! 4-2 (vs. Orioles)
Joe Mauer had his 2nd homer of the spring and also had another RBI in the 4th. Humber pitched and gave up 5 hits and two runs. I can’t be too mad at him though considering his ERA for the spring up to this point was a whopping 0.00. Also Glen Perkins somehow managed to uncharacteristically pitch a scoreless inning. Nick Blackburn, in a more characteristic fashion, pitched 2 scoreless innings.

So our Grapefruit League record is 11-9 now. I wish the regular season would get here, already. This kind of record would probably land us in 2nd place in the Central if it were the real season.

I think the Twins really need to start practicing good hand-washing skills and covering their mouths when they sneeze. My non-weird-heterosexual-man-crush (Scott Baker) was the 5th guy on the team to come down with the flu and he called in sick on Monday. This on top of his “sore back” will now prevent him from pitching in the minor league game that he was suppose to throw in today (Thursday). Ugh…the kid hasn’t pitched since March 8th and if he doesn’t get out there and play this weekend, I might have to find myself a new non-weird-heterosexual-man-crush.

The Twins website did a nice piece on Joe Mauer and his lack of leg injury problems this year and how that is enabling him to focus more on his hitting. Gee, ya think??? He’s only hitting .458 this spring and .600 in his last four games!!! I’d say he is feeling a little better, wouldn’t you???

OK, now its back to being mad about March. See ya!!!

I absolutely can’t stand bottled water. I think it is about as bad of an invention as sliced bread was a good invention. It is completely insane that Americans go through so much of Earth’s most natural resource in bottled form when that water is so readily available from the taps of our homes. The marketing campaign surrounding bottled water is absolutely genius. Companies have managed to take two molecules of hydrogen and one molecule of oxygen and add words like “pure,” “spring,” “natural” and so many others and dress up those simple molecules to make them appear worth more than a dollar for 20 ounces! My opinion is simply this: Bottled water sucks.

First of all, bottled water is regulated by the FDA, while tap water is regulated by the EPA. The FDA’s rules are quite a bit less strict than the EPA’s when it comes to inspection of water quality. Bottled water contains the same amount if not more micro-organisms and toxins than tap water just because of this simple fact. What kinds of chemicals have been found in bottled water? How about arsenic and several types of carcinogens (known cancer causing elements).

Also, from what I can see, a lot of bottled water is simply tap water in disguise. I saw conflicting figures in what I read, but if I had to estimate it looks like in upwards of 25% of all bottled water is simply tap water put through a very basic filtration system called ”reverse osmosis.” Basically a big Brittafilter. Look at Coca-Cola; they have admitted publicly that Dasani is exactly the same water that we take baths and dumps in (oh, and that comes out of our sink).

The problem with filtering water is also this: You lose so many valuable minerals that occur in it. Also, a lot of the fluoride that is in tap water isn’t in bottled water and that is incredibly important for our dental health.

And of course we can’t talk about the ridiculousness of bottled water without talking about the 2 million TONS of plastic bottles that end up in landfills every year. Those bottles aren’t going to bio-degrade for 1000 years and God forbid they ever get recycled. 

If it is the taste of tap or well water that bugs you, I can understand. Like Pabst Blue Ribbon, it is an acquired taste. But there so many products out there that can help make your tap water taste better. Other than taste, you have no excuse to drink bottled water! Yes, they have found some pretty interesting stuff in tap water lately, including birth control and other prescriptions but those are in such small quantities that I have no idea why in the world there is such a fuss being made about them. That spring water that you drink is probably run off from ammonia fertilized farms, dead Salmon and Grizzly Bear pee.

Finally, consider the cost bottled water as opposed to tap water:
Tap: $0.002 per Gallon
Bottled: $9.00 per gallon.

Thanks for reading. I gotta go. I just finished a 48 oz. Minnesota-Twins-glass full of ice cold tap water and now I need to pee and not flush it.

Jaci and I got a sweet deal on some furniture that we found on Craigslist. Since we are moving into our new house in 1 week from today, we are taking the trip to central Iowa to pick it up tomorrow morning. There is this hotel that is building an indoor water park so they are also fitting the rooms with more family orientated furniture. So, we got two full size beds with Serta pillow top mattresses on them (only 1 year old), a T.V. stand/3-drawer Armour, a 35 inch T.V., a computer desk with desk chair and a formal wing-back chair. We can easily fill our guest bedroom with all this stuff and the best part is the ridiculous (good) price that we paid for the whole shebang. How much? Only 325 dollars!!! The other best part (I guess there are two “best” parts) is that my Mom is paying half the total price if we give her one of the beds, so we are actually paying less than 200 dollars for everything else. But this isn’t what I wanted to write about.

I e-mailed one of my heroes, Trent Hamm (author of TheSimpleDollar…dot com) and he agreed to let Jaci and I take him out to eat tomorrow afternoon! He lives in central Iowa quite near where the furniture is. Trent does not talk about his personal life all that much and I respect that. I mean, he gives personal examples and all, but he does his best to remain an enigma when it gets anywhere beyond that. He has over a million viewers a month so I can see why he wouldn’t broadcast his life story for everyone to see. But I wonder if he opens up at all in person? I am really curious about some things about him. I would never publish any intimate details of our conversation tomorrow out of respect for his privacy, but here are the questions that I think I am going to ask him and I hope that he maybe opens up a little more in person and will answer some of them.

1) Where did he go to college?
2) Was he in a fraternity?
3) What does he think about cohabitation before marriage? Morally and Financially?
4) How does he plan to keep up his blog and his site in the next 5-10 years so that it stays up with the times. Will he ever start pod-casting?
5) Will he try to write some short stories before he begins work on his fiction novel?
6) Off the record completely, how scared is he on a scale from 1-10 to quit his job and blog full time?
7) What does he do when he is sick of blogging or just plain doesn’t feel like sitting down and writing one day?
8) What is his wife’s name?
9) What does he think about Jaci and I opening up a no-interest-for-a-year credit card and booking our honeymoon with it, and then paying it off with the money that we get for our wedding in September? Good idea or bad?
10) Will he sign one of his $2 books that I printed off and am taking with me tomorrow??? That would be SWEET!!! 

I am so excited to meet him and get my new furniture that I will get no sleep tonight, unfortunately. Anyway, I better go blow out the 474 candles on my Trent Hamm shrine (OK, I’m totally kidding).

Son of a Pitch(er)…I was hoping for a hat trick. The Twinkies came off of two straight wins only to choke today against the Blue Jays, 3-8. Don’t blame our bats, though: Justin Morneau went 2-3 (when doesn’t he lately?), Joe Mauer had an RBI and Craig Monroe (who has also had a golden bat, lately) had a double that drove in a run. But, thanks to Livan Hernandez on the mound, who gave up a whopping 9 hits and 6 runs in only 4 innings, our sweet offense didn’t mean jack today. He was allowing stolen bases like he was giving out candy. OK, sorry…I shouldn’t be mean. I should be congratulating him. Hernandez now has the highest ERA on the team at 9.69! Way to go, buddy! All jokes aside, Livan is still the man; he just sucked today and frankly has sucked all spring. He has vowed, however, to get his sinker in prime form by the 31st. I’m rootin’ for you, buddy.

There was a little scare in the 5th inning today when Carlos Gomez made an amazing catch in center field. The scary part??? He face planted into the wall at the same time! Somehow the dazed and confused Gomez managed to underhand the ball to Cuddy who came rushing over from right field to help. Gomez ended up leaving the game with the wind knocked out of him, no big deal. Here is the hilarious part:

After the game this reporter was talking to Gardenhire (manager) and asked him if Gomez would have stayed in the game had this been a regular season game. Keep in mind that Gomez is from the Dominican Republic. So Gardenhire answers, “I don’t know, I went out there with the trainer to see if he was OK and I couldn’t understand a word he was saying so I said ‘Come with me.’ ” Then he went on about how he is going to have to get an interpreter during the season.

That’s pretty bad when you can’t understand the poor guy enough to know wheather he is hurt or not!!!

Feel free to comment below. You may need to click on the article’s title (headline) in order to open up the comment field below. You may also e-mail me any thoughts you might have to ahubbard13@bloginyourface.com and if I like what you have to say I will post it alongside this blog. If I don’t like what you have to say I may also post it alongside this blog along with my personal comments on where you should shove it!   

I was talking with this old timer at work today and for some reason we got on the subjectof senior pranks. Evidently Senior (high school) Pranks aren’t a new concept. This guy graduated in 1967 from an extremely small rural school. On the evening before senior prank day him and some buddies released 3 piglets into the school. One the first piglet they painted the number “1,” on the second they painted the number “2″ and on the third piglet they actually painted the number “4.” He said the three piglets were rounded up quickly the next day, however, they postponed classes for over two hours while the entire school was combed looking for piglet number “3″ (which of course was non-existent).

These guys were “Punking” people while Ashton Kutcher was still a twinkle is his Daddy’s eye! CLASSIC!!! HAHAHAHA!!!

First of all, let me just say that I am not an avid toilet flusher. This may seem gross to some people until you hear what I just came up with. But seriously, before I blow your mind, I just wanted to come right out and say that I personally do not flush the toilet after going #1. Only after going #2, usually. That is because up until today, I have always thought that it is very important to save water. Now, I find it EXTREMELY important. Here is why:

The average amount of water that it takes to flush a toilet is 5-7 gallons. Lets round it off to a happy sounding 6 gallons. Now, there are roughly 303, 622, 602 people in the United States. Of those 303, 622, 602, let us guess-timate that 2% of those are not potty trained and do not use toilets on a daily basis (infants and those of us who pee outside on bushes). That makes for about 297, 550, 149 regular toilet users in the United States. Lets estimate that each one of these toilet users pees 3 times a day (in the toilet) and flushes it each time. That would make for 18 gallons of water per person flushed down the toilet, per day. That means America uses 5,355 ,902,682 gallons of water a day or 1,954,904,478,930 (that’s TRILLIONS) gallons per year to flush their pee. I know this is a lot of numbers and you are probably looking for a point already but I am almost there! OK, so the Great Lakes combined have about 6,000,000,000,000,000 gallons of water in them. At the rate we are going, if America keeps flushing the toilet every time we pee, that alone will dry up the Great Lakes within 3000 years from now.

But with all of our industrial, commercial and personal uses for water, toilet flushing only accounts for LESS THAN 1% of the water that us Americans use up every day. Isn’t that unbelievable that we are using up Earth’s most natural resource as quickly as we are? It doesn’t have to be this way. We can each do our own part to save gallons and gallons of fresh water per person/per day. So think about little things like not flushing the toilet the next time you pee. It is really not all that gross…in fact, it is quite sterile. Here is another list of facts I found out about our outrageous water usage.

I created BlogInYourFace mostly for myself. I was reading other people’s blogs for the longest period of time and I could just tell how fulfilling it was for some people to devote themselves everyday to their blog masterpieces and really create something. I wanted a piece of that pie. For the most part, every attempt I have made to jazz up this site has just been for the sake of learning all about WordPress, HTML, Feeds, etc. Not only has this been an opportunity to get a lot of things off my chest and feel good, but it has also been a learning experience on Internet tools and how people these days are communicating in cyberspace. I have discovered the power of both reading countless blogs and creating one of my own. There are so many amazing people out there with so much to say that it would take a lifetime just to crack the surface of it all.

When an overweight person decides to lose weight, they usually are doing it for themselves. However, it sure doesn’t hurt (in fact I am sure it feels pretty good) when people notice weight loss results and it probably feels even better when someone actually says “Hey, you are looking good! Are you losing weight?” That is a good metaphor for my blog. Like I said earlier, I didn’t create this site for anyone else but myself and I could have cared less had nobody ever laid eyes on it but me. I don’t think Jaci even knows that I have officially entered the blog world. But like that person who gets noticed because of their weight loss, I must admit that it feels pretty good to get my first comment.

So here is to you GirlRobot, who’s website shares the same name! Thank you for coming to my page. I found you while reading another blog today and I spent an hour and a half reading through some of your older posts. Welcome to my blog roll and thanks again for making a guy’s day!

Feel free to comment below. You may need to click on the article’s title (headline) in order to open up the comment field below. You may also e-mail me any thoughts you might have to ahubbard13@bloginyourface.com and if I like what you have to say I will post it alongside this blog. If I don’t like what you have to say I may also post it alongside this blog along with my personal comments on where you should shove it!   

Here is a riddle for you: Who is thirty pounds lighter than last year at this time, is one helluva right-hander, and whose name rhymes with “Spoof?” You guessed it! BOOF! That’s right, my man Boof Bonser pitched four scoreless innings on Friday in the win against Pittsburgh and only allowed three hits!!! Joe Nathan came in and in typical Joe Nathan style he also pitched a perfect inning and got 2 ks out of the deal. Joe “Sideburns” Mauer had two runs and Cuddy went 3 for 4. Twins win 4-1!

Saturday (today) we made The Phillies bend over and grab their ankles, metaphorically speaking. Kevin Slowey looked pretty dang good today in his quest for the fifth spot on the pitching starters roster. He struck out five Phillies in four innings! All of the guys went off at the plate today, too. Eighteen FRICKING hits off of a pathetic looking Phillies pitching staff. Twins win!! 11-2!

The Twins made their second round of cuts on Friday. Seven more bit the dust. The one I was most upset to see go was Alexi Casilla. I thought for sure that when Luis Castillo went to the Mets last year that Alexi would be his replacement one day. But evidently Gardenhire thinks he is playing too “sloppy” and “non-chalantly” at second base (he is a natural shortstop) and said “better luck next year, buddy. Sorry, no parting gifts for you” This is not a direct Daddy Gardenhire quote.

We have our first spring training home game tomorrow. God, I really wish I lived in Minneapolis sometimes.

Feel free to comment below. You may need to click on the article’s title (headline) in order to open up the comment field below. You may also e-mail me any thoughts you might have to ahubbard13@bloginyourface.com and if I like what you have to say I will post it alongside this blog. If I don’t like what you have to say I may also post it alongside this blog along with my personal comments on where you should shove it!   

I grew up and spent most of my years before going off to college in a house that was built in 1919 in Sioux City, IA. No, it is not the one pictured above, which I posted to prove a point. The neighborhood that I grew up in was approximately 24×4 blocks of all houses. Not a single strip mall, Home Depot, Wal-Mart, movie theatre…NOTHING. The only thing there was besides houses was an enormous park at the end of the neighborhood. Now, in this 24×4 block area there were approximately 576 houses, and the amazing part is NOT…ONE…OF…THEM…WAS…THE…SAME. Not even close! I mean there were ranch styles, two stories, three stories, brick houses, ones with hills in the front yard, others with HUGE back yards, some with picket fences, some with huge porches, some with wrap around porches, some with long driveways, some with no driveways, some with evergreen trees, some with birch trees, some with massive oak trees etc. etc. etc.

My point is, builders back then took a lot of pride in building houses and the people that have lived in those houses ever since have a lot of pride in the uniqueness of them. These days, it just isn’t the same case. Half the time, I bet if I was drunk I would come home to the wrong house, walk inside, spend the night, get up and put someone elses clothes on, kiss someone else’s wife goodbye before work and be on my way without ever noticing what happened! They all look that much the same!!

Why did America start building houses this way? I know why, its because it is cheap. Every investor out there wants to build the cheapest house that will make them the most profit. If you have ever watched these subdivisions go up, you have seen them magically appear in about six months flat. Jaci and I are moving into our new house in less than two weeks and let me just tell you about our experience with home shopping. I bet we went and viewed 40 houses. Of those 40 houses we came across about 30 that were your typical mid-nineties cookie cutter house. They all seem to have split entries with the kitchen at the back of the house and the bedrooms above the garage. Every single shade of white paint and texture is the same. Every single microwave and stove is the same model. Every tub and shower looks alike. Every deck, patio and/or privacy fence out back looks the same as your neighbor’s house and his neighbor’s house and his neighbor’s house and so on and so forth. It literally took us until the fortieth house or so to find one that really made us say “Wow, I haven’t seen one like this before. What an interesting floor plan! And it has such character!” I think that fact is sad and pathetic.

No wonder the housing market is is crap these days. I think it is because people just aren’t getting excited about finding their dream home; something they can call their own and what makes them unique. The people that do move into these crap houses are getting ripped off by builders, banks and real estate tycoons. Once word spread that this was happening, it created a snowball effect and now nobody is excited about being a home buyer. Jaci and I just got lucky, I guess. My advice would be that if you are shopping for a new home, don’t move into a cookie-cutter house just because you are getting a good deal on it. Look at as many houses as it takes until you walk into one that makes you say “Wow.”

Feel free to comment below. You may need to click on the article’s title (headline) in order to open up the comment field below. You may also e-mail me any thoughts you might have to ahubbard13@bloginyourface.com and if I like what you have to say I will post it alongside this blog. If I don’t like what you have to say I may also post it alongside this blog along with my personal comments on where you should shove it!   

DISCLAIMER: I haven’t been posting much in the past couple of days because I have been trying to organize my thoughts for the following blog. It is simply something that I have wanted to get off my chest and I even considered not publicizing it because it is quite controversial and seems pretty insensitive. If you are easily offended or you have a personal sensitivity to the subject of suicide, please do not read the following post. I’ve just been really frustrated about people taking their own lives lately and I don’t know any other way to express my feelings than on the keyboard. I would like to apologize in advance.

Thanks,
Andy

I recently had yet another friend kill himself. Yep, that makes about 4 or 5 people that I have personally known that have chosen to end their life on their own terms. This time around, whether it is because it has become so repetitive or maybe I am just growing up and looking at things differently; but this time around it didn’t make me sad. In fact, it pissed me off really bad. I am officially EXTREMELY mad about suicide.

Depending on the state you live in, anywhere from 10 to 29 percent of American deaths can be attributed to suicide according to a quick Google. I guess it is no wonder that by the age of 25, I know about 5 kids who have taken their own life. Frankly, with those stats, I am surprised I don’t know of more.

So why does suicide suck so much? First of all, the monetary cost. Funerals can cost thousands of dollars. That doesn’t include the cost of people that have to clean up the deceased’s body. Then there is the burial plot, the cost of accommodating relatives in town for a funeral, the cost for relatives to seek counseling and possibly anti-depressant medication to cope, the cost of relatives having to miss work for bereavement periods, the cost of having to manage (get rid of) all of the deceased person’s belongings and the loss of income that the deceased may have once provided for his/her family. All those costs could potentially add up to hundreds of thousands or even millions of dollars! How selfish is it to leave that kind of a burden on your friends and family? Ugh, suicide sucks.

Why else does suicide suck? The way people who are suicidal try to reason with themselves and the excuses that they use.
Nobody appreciates me: This is bull-crap. I can understand why someone would come to feel this way. They might have a horrible family and not very many (or NO) friends. But to take your life because of it? Puh-Leeeze…Anyone who wants to commit suicide because they honestly think that nobody appreciates them should go to Big Brothers/Big Sisters and one time (JUST ONCE) take a kid to the bowling alley and pay attention to their reaction. I don’t care if you are the biggest dork in the world to your own age group, there is always a kid out there (maybe even a niece or nephew) that will think you are the coolest person in the world if you show them a little bit of attention. And what about a pet? If someone truly thought nobody appreciated them, than they have never gone to the pound or Humane Society and picked out a dog or cat that has been sitting in its own feces and eating cardboard dog/cat food and taken it home and loved it and held it and let it lick their face and taken it for walks on a sunny day. People who want to kill themselves because they don’t feel appreciated have obviously never volunteered JUST ONCE at a homeless shelter to serve beans and canned meat to the most grateful people who literally have nothing but the clothes on their backs…they have never sat and listened to a homeless person with schizophrenia rant and rave for a half an hour about absolutely nothing but who are simply excited that someone is looking at them and nodding their head like they understand.
I am Worthless: Wanting to kill yourself because you feel worthless? I have news for you: That excuse sucks. You want to feel like you are making a difference somehow? It is so EASY! You could write a letter to a soldier through AnySoldier or AMillionThanks and I bet you $1000 dollars that if you include a self-addressed stamped envelope, they will write you back. I dare you to go and mow your old neighbor’s lawn and tell me you don’t feel like you are contributing to the world. I dare you to start a blog that reaches out to other people that are feeling like you do right now and when you get your first comment telling you “Thanks,” I bet you don’t feel quite so worthless anymore. I dare you to go to the park and fill up one trash-bag full of garbage. I dare you to go to a random church (who cares what denomination) and step into the front office and offer to do anything and everything you can to help out. I dare you to get in line behind a single mother buying formula for her daughter and slip an envelope in her cart with 5 dollars in it with a note saying that someone knows it is hard being a Mommy and wants to give them a hand. I dare you to coach a little league baseball team even if you know nothing about baseball. I dare you to join a club and run for an office in that club…There may be people in your life that think you are worthless and they may tell you that every single day, but I guarantee there are thousands and thousands of people in your community that would love for you to share your talents and ideas. If someone is thinking of killing themselves because they feel like they have nothing to offer the world, I think that sucks.
I Failed: If you failed at something and you are thinking that it is now time to kill yourself because your world is over…well, I think that sucks. What is it? College, maybe? Here’s a story: My buddy drank away law school and failed out in the first semester. His parents, who were paying for it completely turned their backs on him because of it and didn’t want anything to do with him. What did he do? He went and got his commercial driver’s license and is making extremely good money driving a truck now. He loves it. He’s not ashamed of it. If you don’t find your passion or your calling at something the first time, then freaking do something else! Don’t let other people tell you what you destiny is. If someone thinks that failure is justification for killing themselves, then they haven’t got a clue about the big picture of life. It is extremely necessary for every man and woman on Earth to discover that big picture.
I am in debt: I knew a girl that killed herself because she had thousands and thousands in credit card debt and medical bills. Can you believe it? She took her precious life and everything that she had to contribute because of money. The same thing happened to thousands of people during the stock market crash of 1929. People were jumping out of Wall Street windows. There is no amount of money in this world worth killing oneself over. NO AMOUNT! My sister had to declare bankruptcy a few years back because of some financial struggles. She met someone just like herself; they had bad financial histories in common, they got married and now are living in a trailer on an Army base and slowly but surely getting their lives back together. She went from having a a 225,000 dollar house and everything else in the world to living in a 200 dollar a month trailer and she absolutely could not be happier. If you have to, swallow your pride and see a credit counselor, declare bankruptcy or even file for unemployment or welfare benefits. You are not alone and have nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, you get a clean slate! Thousands of other Americans are going through exactly the same thing and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel when it comes to financial woes. Contemplating suicide because of monetary reasons is absolutely absurd.
“So-and-So” doesn’t love me anymore: People actually take their own lives everyday because one certain someone won’t love them anymore. They feel like killing themselves will finally get the attention of that someone once and for all. First of all, when you are dead and gone, that someone will move on and forget all about you. He/She will not sit around for the rest of their lives feeling sorry for you or themselves. They will find someone who is alive and who can touch and hold them and be there for them. You will be out of the picture for good. Look, heartbreak is an absolutely miserable and ruthlessly horrible feeling. Hopelessness goes along with it and can eat us away from the inside out. But I guarantee…I GUAR-AN-FREKIN’-TEE that ending your life over one boy or girl, even after years of a relationship or marriage, is NOT yours or anyone’s destiny. Time heals things and makes them all better. Killing oneself does nothing. Absolutely Nothing. Zilch. Nada. Even if you have to drink and cry yourself to sleep for weeks or months, that’s fine. I would even go so far as to say that is pretty normal. Once things start getting better, put yourself back out there. It is easier than ever to meet people these days. There are so many clubs, organizations and online dating sites for people to get the socializing, love and affection that we so desperately need. Love sometimes does not last forever. In fact, people are so self-consumed these days that loving someone else is getting more and more difficult. However, there is one thing that has always and will forever be true: PAIN IS TEMPORARY. Another ultimate truth? Death is permanent. Suicide for the sake of heartbreak just plain sucks. It is just not worth it…BUT LIFE IS PRICELESS. Its a no brainer.

If there was such a thing as the most legitimate reason for suicide it would be mental illness. I understand that people have absolutely no control over mental illness that afflicts them. Depression and other disorders can lead people to do the most unimaginable things. I realize that mental illness most likely plays a role in nearly every single successful suicide. I am not that insensitive or ignorant of a person to not realize this. What frustrates me is how Americas deal with mental illness.

If someone had pneumonia, people would think they were foolish to not seek treatment that is available to cure that particular disease. But sadly we look at mental illness differently. If we have depression or anger issues ourselves, we try and over come them or cover them up. We see them as weakness and burden. If we see others with signs of mental illness we tell ourselves that it is temporary and/or circimstancial and they will grow out of it. We think that by being supportive family members and friends alone, we can help others through their mental issues. To me, mental illness is more serious than cancer, heart disease or Alzheimer’s. Unfortunately, we tend to take it far less seriously.

What makes this frustrating to me is that science is making leaps and bounds with medication to treat depression, anger etc. There are thousands of self help books out there and religious and spiritual organizations to help people get through mental illness. The United States government allocates anywhere from 70 to 100 billion dollars a year to help this country gain control of our minds! After all, our minds and our emotions are what make us humans and superior to all other creatures on God’s Earth! However, even with all of these things out there to help people with mental illness, the majority of it is still going to waste (so to speak) because people refuse to seek help. Instead, every 16 minutes in the U.S. someone takes their own life. That precious, PRECIOUS life that God so desperately wanted them to change the world with. Suicide sucks, but what sucks even more is when that suicide is contributed to a treatable mental illness that we failed to address properly.

This is Andy, signing off and officially stepping down from my soapbox…for now.

I shouldn’t have opened my big mouth…just when I start blabbing to the world about the Twinkies’ winning streak they go and lose three in a row on me:

Tuesday 3/11 Tampa Bay 7  Twins 1
We couldn’t get the bat on the ball at all this game. Twins went scoreless from the mid 1st inning until the 8th. Craig Monroe went 2 for 3 with two singles and that is about the only person that seemed like he took batting practice before the game. Livan Hernandez looked decent but could have pitched better. Glen Perkins looked like crap (big surprise this spring) and Juan Rincon gave up a homer.
Wednesday 3/12 Boston 12 Twins 7
Dreamy McDreamerson (Joe Mauer) had his first homer of the spring in this one. Brendan “Out-Of-Nowhere-Lately” Harris had a homer as well. To bad the Twins pitching sucked. I couldn’t believe that Francisco Liriano threw 53 freaking pitches in a little over two innings!!! He was throwing strikes but he just couldn’t dominate any counts!
Thursday 3/13 Baltimore 3 Twins 1
Once again, it seemed like Craig Monroe was about the only guy who could do anything with a bat. The Twins didn’t even get a single hit until the 4th dang inning. Jason Kubel got the only RBI of the game with his double shortly after Monroe’s. Our pitching looked decent. Nick Blackburn hadn’t given up any runs yet this spring, but alas, all good things come to an end…he gave up two today.

Gardenhire announced that he is leading toward Livan Hernandez as the opening day starter. I am pretty upset that it is not Scott Baker, but I suppose he better not tweak his back anymore. I hope Hernandez can get it in gear considering he literally has an 8.0 ERA in his two starts this season. What a freaking joke…

A couple of new Twins Territory commercials are up on their website. You can check them out here. The one with Pat Neshek is pretty funny.

Do you remember in the first installment of Karate Kid when Mr. Miyagi finds out that Daniel hurt his wrist and he puts that powder in a bowl full of water and it looks like Alka-Sletzer? Then he puts it on Daniel’s wrist and it is all better by morning? What the heck was that stuff and why can’t they soak Scott Baker’s back in it??? It must be considered an illegal substance by the MLB…